Sometimes We Take Chances Sometimes We Take Pills
by BlackHairdye.SilverFindings
Summary: A highschool adventure through the lives of our now mortal/normal Avengers. Being a teenager is hard enough, y'know? But when you throw in some drugs, cops, babies, and Aliens, life becomes so much more complicated. And all a teenager wants to do, is graduate and go to prom.
1. We Are Young

A/N: So. I had this idea a bit ago and it just wouldn't go away so, here it is. My very first Avengers fan fiction. Don't hate on this cause it's just fun, like doing Acid and running around in the desert. Although, that doesn't seem so 'fun'.

Warnings:

Sex. Probs gonna happen.

Slash. It will be mentioned.

Language. just know that people cuss and so do super heroes.

AU. So Alternate it should be it's own 'Verse.

Wit. Of the Joss Whedon kind.

References. To everything under the sun. Be prepared. Look. There's one now.

Also I kinda made everyone hate on the Captain cause he's so good-y-two shoes and he tends to annoy everyone. (i.e. me.)

**Sometimes We Take Chances. Sometimes We Take Pills.**

**Chapter 1:**

**We Are Young.**

"I hate. My. Life." the younger boy complained his head lolling back onto the leather head rest.

"Quiet, brothar." The diver replied as they pulled up to the drive through window at the coffee house. "Life is not so bad."

His brother glared through his big crazy dark sunglasses "It is alright right for _you _to say that, Thor. You are popular and stuff! And I am just… not." But his brother was not listening he was busily flirting with the woman at the window. "THOR! I'M CONFIDING IN YOU!"

"Here," Thor said handing his brother a hot coffee drink "Drink. You shall feel better." Loki took the cardboard cup and scowled down at it. "You are just being moody because summer is over and you have to go back to school."

Loki stuck out his tongue at his older brother. "I am always moody. My life is, ONE. BIG. DARK. ROOM."

"That is nice. Now drink the mocha."

"Fuck you."

"All the boys want too."

"Incest."

"You are adopted. So not technically."

"You are gross."

"You are the one who brought up the fucking."

The red Corvette pulled into the student parking lot, swerving around a group of cheerleads that squealed and waved at the car and it's driver, who laughed in return as he pulled into the parking spot right next to the gate. Tony Stark slid out of the car a smart smile on his lips, as he was swarmed by the gaggle of cheerleaders.

"I thought I was supposed to get all the cheerleaders." Steve Rogers stated as he, Natasha and Clint watched the scene from the air conditioned classroom. "I'm Captain of like… every spots team." The classroom had a torturously good view of the whole campus from the student parking lot to the football field to the wielding shops on South.

"Except archery." Natasha pointed out squeezing Clint's bicep. Her boyfriend smirked but was busy watching something on the other side of the field.

"Well yeah, archery is a bunch of twaddle for puss- I mean that I'd never try to out do Clint, that's his thing." Steve nodded at Clint's sudden glare as Tony had begun to make his across the classroom toward them.

"The year hasn't even started and I'm already breaking hearts." Tony sighed as he collapsed on into one of the plastic chairs behind Natasha and one over. "I wonder what life has in store for me this year."

"Probably plenty of parties and blackouts." Steve replied leaning back against his chair. Tony raised an eyebrow and gave him a look over the top of his sunglasses before shrugging.

"Yeah. Probably." Tony agreed and seemed content with that fact. "God, life as a millionaire genius is hard."

"Yeah, I bet you lie awake at night and reminisce about how difficult your day was." Steve snorted.

"At least I lie awake at night a think. Not wank off like someone people, right Captain Virginity?" Tony said, Steve kicked him in the back before picking up his things and moving to a seat in the front of the classroom a row and one over from Natasha. Tony chuckled under his breath as he watched a convertible pink VW Bug, with a bumper sticker that displayed a lighting symbol on it, pull in the parking lot. It swerved through the gaggle of cheerleaders Tony had left, and in to a parking place next to a big black van with the words 'BIG DAMN HEROES' painted across the side with a mural of five Viking looking band members. Tony always thought that the 'HEROES' actually looked like 'HERPES' though. He thought that the band should have whoever did the mural shoot. His father could probably arrange it.

A pair of boys climbed out of the pink car, both equally and ridiculously tall, but where the driver was blond and wide shouldered, his brother was the opposite, dark in color and small in stature. The blond one said something to his brother he didn't seemingly respond and then they parted ways, the blond making his way up to the classroom.

The room itself was dourly drab; the teacher had not even attempted to put up any of those awful colorful motivation teacher posters. It was just a cell made of four half tan half off white walls, weird school panel ceiling, too many windows, and new squeaky linoleum. Which Tony was pretty sure they outlawed since it contained massive amounts of lead. So not only was he required to spend 2 hours in here a day learning about 'World Policies', he was also going to be slowly poisoned with lead. He suspected that it was some master plan of Steve Rogers' too slowly and painfully kill him.

"Ah, look! The sky as parted and the sun smiled upon us, for a God has graced us with his presence." Tony exclaimed looking up as Thor made his way into the room. Thor nodded at the rich boy.

"Thor," Steve started "You know that we had a preliminary practice last night right?" Thor sighed and dropped down in the seat behind Steve and in front of Tony.

"Yeah, Rogers I did, what of it?" Thor asked taking a large gulp of coffee "I was occupied. I could not attend."

Tony elbowed him and leaned forward "Was it that sweet little science nerd?" Thor scowled at him but winked anyway with a smirk.

"I'll tell you what of it." Steve said sounding angry. "You can't play on the team if you're never there! It's a team sport Thor, there's no 'I' in team!"

"There is a 'me' though." Tony pointed out "If you rearrange the letters." Thor laughed and high-fived Tony.

Steve gave Tony a dirty look "That's why they kicked you off the soccer team." he retorted "No team sprit. You can't play well with others."

"No actually," Tony said turning around and looking at the other boy over his sunglasses "They kicked me off because they caught me smoking weed in the locker room. I had a ton of team sprit. The bong was school colors even."

"Oh hey, speaking of weed, do you know if the Ratrays got anymore?" Thor asked Tony "We have a gig coming up and Sif is scared to death to play." Steve couldn't help but look at Thor with an appalling look.

"Thor! Weed is _illegal_!" He hissed "They could have you suspended for smoking it!" Thor informed him that he never said that he was going to smoke it before going back to his conversation with Tony about weed. As the boys talked about weed and who sold the best and how Thor was saving up to get something pierced for his 18th birthday, Steve sent pointed glares into the backs of both of their heads.

The door slid open again and a small scruffy looking boy slunk in, acting as though he didn't want to be noticed. He was. By none other then Tony Stark.

"Bruce!" Tony exclaimed waving his hands before jumping from his seat and dragging the small boy over to them. "Come. Sit with us."

"You say 'us' as though we're friends." Clint said as Steve pulled out his phone and started playing some game on it.

"Fine." Tony shrugged pulling Bruce down into a chair. "Sit with _me_." Bruce Banner was small Thor observed. Too small. He was short and mousy and the shirt he was wearing was wrinkled like he'd slept in it too. Maybe the kid had. Thor figured that it would have been rude to ask. So instead he decided to kick Steve's chair. Thor smiled at the Captain innocently when he turned around the glare at the taller boy. When Steve turned back Thor kicked his chair again.

Finally, just a few moments before the bell rang, the last member of the class role slunk in. Loki slithered in to the class looking like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice with his greasy hair and dark clothing. He tried to find a spot in the back but Thor had already grabbed him and forced him to sit next to him. Loki glared unhappily out from under his locks of raven hair, but Thor just smiled widely at him before he flicked his brother on the leather clad arm. Loki silently seethed that Thor would pay for it. One day. He would pay for the bullying he'd done. (ALSO, LOKI IS SUPER SEXY WITH HIS MYSTERIOUS GREEN EYES)

"Where's the teacher?" Natasha finally asked after the late bell had rung. Everyone else looked up from whatever they'd been doing and glanced around the empty classroom.

"So is this it then?" Thor asked "This is our World Studies class?"

"It is not 'World Studies' you fool." Loki snapped "It is World Policies."

Thor gave him a look and said "Same fucking thing."

"No. Actually," Steve spoke up "World Studies means that we would be studying everything about the world, but because it's World Policies we just learn about political policies that other countries have established."

"Rogers." Thor said kicking his chair again "I did not ask you. I will let you know if I want to know the difference between the words 'studies' and 'policies'." Thor snapped before adding "Which I do, by the way. Before you said so."

Before Steve could retort or Loki for that matter the door opened once more and a big hulking black man stepped into the room. The man was big, dressed in a black duster and sweater, with a frightening patch over his left eye. The look he gave the students was one that would have sent even the newest of vampires to their fiery graves. It made even Thor, who was so large that not even the toughest of gangster at their school dared fight him, slink back in his chair, as if the man had found every deep dark secret of his and planned to inform the whole class of them.

He continued to glare for a moment as he stood behind his desk before he turned from them in a sweep of his coat to write Director Fury in red Expo marker on the board. Then he turned back to the class with a hateful glare.

"You will call me Director Fury." He announced folding his arms behind his back. "This is World Policies, and if any of you were thinking that this was another class, such as World Studies, or something of the sort, I highly suggest that you get out. This is a highly demanding course, and I do not suggest it to those of uncommitted mind." He seemed to point a glare at Thor who raised a challenging eyebrow back. "Now. Open your books to page one please." And as he turned away the group of teenagers leaned in toward each other to give one another one of those 'F.M.L.' looks.


	2. The Boys and Girls in the Clique

A/N: Alright. Chapter 2. Badass. Okay. So all the CAPs comments are written by my non-BROTHAR Olivia, who thinks that Loki is better then Thor. I scoff at her. I like them both.

**Chapter 2: The Boys and Girls in the Clique. The Awful Names That They Stick.**

Sif moaned as she arched up against Thor's body, her hand splaying across his chest. Their bodies were sticky with sweat, and Thor's hair was sticking to his forehead. He would need a shower after they finished. Sif wrapped one of her strong legs around Thor's waist, pulling him in closer to her. His lips strayed across her jaw line, licking at her neck. He could hear her panting his name with each of his trusts into her. Her fingers dug unexpectedly into his shoulder, her nails biting in to his skin as her teeth found a sensitive spot on his neck. Pain shot through his skin as she left a mark that would last and he finished, when a groan that made Sif giggle.

Thor picked himself off her, pulling out of her and standing. She was laying across the sofa in his basement room, naked, with her skin gleaming from the sweat of their two bodies. She had one arm behind her head the other resting on her stomach. She was smiling at Thor. He turned away from her and disposed of the used condom before pulling on his boxer briefs.

"So," Sif asked her voice muffled as she stuck a cigarette in her mouth. "How is _Dictator _Fury's class?" Thor had only learned that almost everyone else in the school called him 'Dictator Fury' after the first two weeks of school, when it was too late to change classes. So now he was stuck in the hardest class in the school all because he wanted an easy A.

"He makes us like crawl through the mug and climb over shit." Thor said standing over Sif and taking her cigarette to steal a drag from it. "Hey thanks for telling me about his reputation _before_ I took the class." He glared at her and she laughed in return, sitting up and taking her cigarette back.

"I thought you knew!" She told him leaning forward to kiss his belly "Everyone in the school knows."

"Everyone except for my class." He replied as she continued to kiss his stomach. "It's like he's training us to like, I dunno, fight Aliens or something."

"Maybe his is. Maybe your brother's not lying when he says that he's going to take over the world with his band of Aliens from the deepest depths of space." That made Thor laugh. Loki, his brother, the commander of an entire army of Aliens? The only thing funnier then that was the concept of Steve Rogers loosening up enough to get a girlfriend. Maybe Rogers was gay... Thor kind of liked that idea, Steve Rogers being gay. The boy was pretty enough. He started to like the idea even more when Sif took his new semi-hard into her mouth.

His thoughts and Sif's actions were cut off by a sudden pounding on the door to his room, so clearly labeled 'Keep Out'. Thor and Sif broke apart, Thor running over, hastily putting himself back into his underwear, to get pants and Sif throwing her shirt on.

"Whaaaat?" Thor yelled "Why do you disturb me?" He made a shooing motion to Sif who was in the process of pulling her pants back on.

"There's a boy here to see you Thor," His mother said and Thor looked around mortified that it was his mother who'd probably heard him moaning at the fantasy of Steve Rogers sucking him off.

"Oh... uh... okay." Thor responded as Sif collapsed onto the sofa grabbing the remote and turning the TV back up before grabbing a magazine and flipping though it. "Just uh... come on in.." Thor said finger combing his hair and pull a t-shirt on. It was a rumpled shirt he'd worn to bed with the image of a man being shocked with lightening on it.

The door to his room sung open and hise could see his mother and whoever it was that that it so kind to interrupt him and Sif at the top of the stairs.

"Thank you," The boy replied and Thor had a mini heart-attack as he realized that it was Steve Rogers.

"Will you be staying for dinner Steven?" Thor's mother asked and he tried to shake his head no but Steve answered anyway.

"I may end up staying, that lasagna smelled so good." Steve smiled sweetly and Thor just wanted to punch the kid in the face.

"Oh Sif," She called down spotting the other girl on the sofa. "You'll be staying I assume." Sif nodded and popped a bubble of gum. Thor wondered where she'd found it. And then Thor's mother was gone, and Steve Rogers was walking down the rickety stairs into Thor's room. The room was considerably large, seeing as it was the basement. Thor's bed was smashed into a corner and the sheets probably hadn't been made since he'd moved into the basement at the beginning of fifth grade. The couch he and Sif frequented when they were in a sex mood, was yellow and black plaid and most people were afraid to sit on it because he and Hogun had found it on the side of the road. The room was carpeted and the carpet was singed in some places from here cigarettes were dropped or when someone dared someone else to light their hand on fire with hairspray that went out of control. Or at least the floor that one could see was carpet. Most the floor space was obscured by various pieces of clothing, that sometimes even Thor could not figure out if they were clean or not. There was sound system next to the TV and stacks of CDs. His walls were covered with band posters and in the other corner of the room sat bass guitar and an amp.

"Is there a problem Rogers?" Thor asked standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed.

"Hey Sif." Rogers replied not looking at Thor, and waving at Sif who returned his greeting with a smile.

Thor looked from Rogers to Sif "Do you know him?" He asked pointing to the Captain. Sif shrugged as Rogers looked around the room. The Avenged Sevenfold poster on the ceiling caught his eye.

"Did you run out of wall space?" he asked indicating the posters papering the ceiling. Thor nodded and crossed his arms again.

_Do not look at his mouth, Thor. Don't do it._ He told himself trying to keep his eyes trained on Rogers' hairline. "Why are you here." It wasn't a question.

"I came to tell you, you missed another practice." Steve said with his hands in his pockets. "And if you miss another, then we'll be forced to ask you to leave the team." He said sitting on the arm of the couch and Thor wished that the ugly thing did have crabs.

"I'm your best player! You can't kick me off the team!" Thor exclaimed "And so what, I missed a couple of 'preliminary' practices, the season hasn't even started yet! Those things are for sissy underclassmen who can't punt a football. Come on Rogers. You and I both know that we'd be in the shit if you kicked me off the team."

"If you actually went to the practices you'd know that there are some of those underclassmen that are actually _better _then you, okay Thor? Just cause you're the biggest guy in school doesn't mean that you're the best." Steve said standing and getting into Thor's face. "You might be named for a god but that doesn't mean that you are one! You're just a vain and greedy boy! You're nothing but a pretty face Thor Odinson!"

It was quiet for a moment before Thor laughed and light twitch of his lips and little chuckle turning away from Steve for a moment before turning back and slamming his fist into the left side of Steve's face, just below his cheekbone. Steve went down, clutching his face and Thor stood over him, glaring daggers as Sif sat stunned watching them.

"A pretty face who can throw a right hook." Thor replied.

"Thor!" She finally hissed. "You just punched Steve Rogers. As in _Captain _Rogers. As in captain of like every spot at school! They could suspend you!"

Thor shrugged and stepped over Steve, walking up the stairs and throwing open the door to his room. Crouched in front of the door with a small drinking glass, was Loki. He looked up at his brother and put the glass away, standing slowly. Thor glared with cold malice at his brother.

"Thor, I could-" He started quietly.

"Shut up." Thor replied and stormed off out of the house with a slam of the front door. Their mother rushed into the hallway a dish towel in her hands. She was asking what had happened when Steve emerged with Sif nursing his swollen cheek. Loki shrugged and handed her the drinking glass he's been using to eavesdrop on his brother before making his way up stairs to this attic room.

Loki's room was small, tight and crammed, but he liked it. It was sparse like a monk's cell, and where his brother's was crowded with posters, Loki had one or two of them, a Godsmack poster there and a poster of some naked lady glued to his ceiling. His sheets were made perfectly, and of course were a dark forest green. The dresser in the corner was made of dark wood, like the small night stand next to his bed and the table that his turtle's tank sat on. Loki crossed to the tank and watched it's contents before reaching down and picking up his turtle, Cerberus III.

"You are my only friend, Cerberus." Loki murmured looked at his turtle intently before crossing to the darkest corner of his room were a bunch of candles were half melted down in his own séance circle. Setting his turtle down in the middle of the circle, Loki opened an old tomb sitting next to him on the floor. Flipping through the book, Loki starts to read a passage out loud, his hand spread open hovering over the circle. Suddenly there was a banging from Loki's window. The dark haired lad made a face looked over, to see his brother hanging just outside the window, his hand holding tightly to the edge of the roof. If Loki didn't let him in he'd probably fall to his death. It was a pleasing thought, but even still Loki rose and trudged over to the window, making a big show off it.

"Thanks." Thor smiled as he dropped down through the now open window. "For awhile there I though you weren't going to open the window." Loki picked Cerberus III up and carefully placed him back into his terrium.

"For a while neither did I," Loki replied as Thor collapsed on his bed.

"I can't believe you left that thing up." He pointed to the poster of the naked lady with a laugh.

Loki joined him on the bed. "You super glued it to my ceiling. Very efficiently, I might add." They both were silent for a moment. "So... Steve Rogers huh?" He asked and Thor sighed angrily punching the pillow next to him.

"He's just so..." Thor grappled for words miming strangling someone with his hands.

Loki watched with interest. "Atrocious?" Loki suggested and Thor nodded. "Do you even know what that word means?"

Thor shrugged "Its what Steve Rogers is. Does it matter what it means?" Loki smiled at that. "Please, Sif was like... Friendly to him. Which makes it worse. He's just like everyone's favorite. Just cause he's captain of everything."

"You're everyone's favorite when it comes to you and me." Loki pointed out. Thor snorted.

"If only that was true. Do you know how many girls like you, brothar?" Thor laughed smiling. "A real American boy." Thor brooded glaring up at the poster of the naked lady. "Lets go out tonight brothar. Lets get drunk and party and get hot chicks."

Loki looked at him skeptically. "Thor, when have we ever gone out and got drunk together? And when have we _ever_ gotten chicks together? It's not like a regular thing, if you hadn't noticed."

"There's a first time for everything."

Loki couldn't decide if tonight was going to be very, very, good. Or very, very, bad.

It was about after the third bar that Loki had started regretting sneaking out of the house. Of course what they'd done hadn't really been sneaking. Or for Thor it hadn't. Heimdall had let Thor out of the gate easily, while Loki had to climb over the gate and go find Thor, who was parked about three blocks away in the ThunderBug.

And then his brothar had taken them all over the town, stopped at one liquor store, and three bars before they passed the tattoo parlor. Loki had just begun questioning how exactly Thor was buying all their liquor, when they pulled into the parking lot. The parlor it's self was about as clean and spiffy as the car mat in the ThunderBug, which is to say, not at all. It had bars on the windows, and a flashing neon sign proclaiming that it was open. Loki shoot his brothar a nervous look as Thor turned the car off.

"What are we doing here?" He asked, the booze not making him anymore adventurous. Or at least not in the way that he felt like getting HIV from some dirty needle in a shitty tattoo parlor.

"I, am going to get a tattoo." Thor said jumping out of the car. Loki was relived that Thor hadn't planned on them getting matching tattoos, but soon his relief was concurred by the sheer terror of this brothar getting HIV from a dirty needle. And he voiced that option as Thor started toward the door.

"Nonsense." Thor boomed "Fandral got his tattoo here. He doesn't have the hiv."

"Fandral has a tattoo?" Loki asked

"And besides, girls love guys with tattoos!" Thor smiled widely as he pushed the door to the shop open. Loki wanted to point out that Steve Rogers probably didn't have any tattoos. But he just followed Thor into the shop, keeping his arms crossed and glowering at anyone who dared look in his direction.

The parlor was two rooms, the main lobby area with a cash register, a couple tables, tattoo designs, and cases of body jewelry. The other room looked like the shop its self, where Thor was soon sitting, shirt off, arm above his head, showing the artist where he wanted the tattoo. When they'd walked in there had been two other people in the shop, the artist and a kid who was working the register.

The kid was young, maybe just barely older then Thor, with dark hair that was a little shorter then shoulder length. He had soft features kind of like a girl, with high cheekbones and searching grey/green eyes. He was dealing out a round of poker when the brothars had walked in, and he smiled at Loki devilishly. Loki quickly looked away.

"He your brother, him?" The boy asked taking a seat next to Loki. He was Cajun. Heavily Cajun.

"Uh... yeah. Well, I'm adopted, but yeah. We're brothars." Loki nodded trying to scoot away from the boy without being rude or obvious.

"Remy ain't never had no brothers," The kid said "Name's Remy LeBeau." He held out a hand, that Loki shook hesitantly.

"Loki Laufyson." Loki responded and watched as Remy smiled like the devil again.

Tony threw lots of parties, all the time actually. His house was just on of those houses that lent itself to parties. It was huge, with two pools (one with a color changing disco ball in it), three hot tubs (one being indoors), four pool tables, an arcade, two Storm Trooper costumes shoved away in a closet, and laser tag course. Which if you've never played laser tag in the dark, with a bunch of drunken friends, you're missing out.

The other thing about Tony's parties was the fact that he had a guard on the main gate, meaning that if you showed up and Tony didn't want you there, then you were forced to leave or have the cops called on you for trespassing and spend the night in jail. This meant that the parties were only ever filled with the coolest, and closest of Mr. Stark's friends. Also, it was rumored that Tony Stark had the best weed in town.

Clint Barton knew this. He also knew that he would have probably never get invited to one of Tony's parties if he'd switched out of Dictator Fury's class like he'd wanted too. Although, he had the slightest suspicion that Natasha might have. But truly, who could resist her when she did those crazy stunts in her skintight gymnastics uniform? Surely, even someone like… Loki would _have_ to lie down and let her walk all over them. It was not a secret that she was the Holy Grail of Hot.

Which is what Natasha was listed under in Clint's phone.

So when they drove up, in Natasha's sleek '53 midnight blue Corvette, and passed easily through the gate in front of the Stark mansion, Clint couldn't help but let out a breath he'd been holding since they turned on to the street. He glanced over at Natasha who was smiling triumphantly in his direction. Even now, when she was dressed in her plain jeans and gymnastics team shirt, she was still smoking hot.

The pair parked their car next to watch looked like Peter Parkers' car and sidled slowly into the party, they presences going pretty unnoticed until they bumped into Thor, who had a drink in his hand, and seemed pretty buzzed already even though it seemed that he'd just got there. Clint wondered it he should tell the taller boy about the fact that he'd just witnessed Loki and some boyish looking girl smashed up in the corner sucking face like starving zombies.

He decided against it.

"Guys check it out!" Thor shouted grinning widely at Natasha and Clint. "Got my first tattoo!" He pulled up his shirt to expose his side where a large Celtic hammer-like object was newly tattooed. Clint laughed and poked it, Thor wincing.

"Ha. Can you get a refund? Cause they tattooed some ugly-ass hammer thing on you." He laughed. Thor let his shirt down and frowned at Clint.

"Its is Mjolnir! The magic hammer of Thor! The Thunder God!"

Clint couldn't help but laugh "Mnew-mew?" He giggled Natasha keeping herself clam and collected, the very smallest ghost of a smile pulling her lips up. Thor glared at the archer, an unamused look that was soon vanquished as some girl, with green hair and holes in her ears, appeared at Thor's elbow and informed him that she liked boy with mythological tattoos. Thor seemed pleased with this and wandered off with her a silly, drunk, pleased smile on his face. Later that night Clint would see that girl going home with one of the kids in his German class, a tall dark-haired boy on the track team, the one that people said looked like a Nazi. Clint would see Thor too, go home with some one else too. Clint would later find out that the boyish looking girl Loki was mouth-sucking, was actually a girlish looking boy.

Sometime during the night Clint lost track of Natasha, be he really didn't care. There were some of those cheerleaders, the ones that Steve Rogers always wanted, that seemed plenty okay with overlooking the fact that Clint was dating on of the scariest girls in school. He was kind of okay with it too.

Clint was pretty sure that he saw Natasha in the DiscoPool with Tony Stark. Clint was also pretty sure that one of the cheerleaders had her hand down his pants.

AND THEN THOR BANGS EVERYONE AND GETS STDS.

LOKI IS SUPER CUTE IN ALL WAYS.

JUST SAYING.

THAT.

YES.


	3. The Warm Embrace

**Chapter 3: The Warm Embrace of Holding Your Hair Back in a Bathroom Stall.**

Natasha glanced back only once. Once, just to make sure that she really was crawling out of Tony Stark's bed. Once, just to make sure that he was still sleeping. Once, just to make sure that she'd left her panties behind. Once, just one last time to watch Tony roll over, sleeping peacefully. Once, to wonder if Tony would remember any of last night.

Clint wondered when and how he'd gotten home. He hadn't gone home with Natasha, he'd left….. with who? He didn't remember. But he was pretty sure he got laid last night. Which was good. He was also pretty sure that Natasha shared in his luck last night. And he was fairly sure that Tony Stark was on the receiving end of that luck. Clint nodded to himself before wandering downstairs to join his mother for Saturday breakfast.

Thor staggered out of his bed, sheets tangled around his legs, and glanced back at his bed. There was a girl in it. Not Sif. Not Jane. Not even the green haired one with the glow-in-the dark gauges. He'd liked her. He wondered why she'd left with the Nazi runner boy. He wondered if Steve Rogers was captain of the running team too. He shrugged and staggered up the steps to his door, up the stairs to the bathroom. Which he found was occupied. He frowned and suddenly realized he was late for the stupid preliminary practices that he was required to go to.

Steve Rogers frowned at his mostly hung-over team. All of them, except him of course, had been invited to Tony Stark's party last night, and now all of them, except him of course, were feeling the after effects of too much booze. He started by making them do suicides and by the forth or fifth one, Thor Odinson showed up in his sweats and dark glasses. He had coffee for the whole team. Or maybe it just took 15 cups of the stuff to wake him up in the morning.

Bruce had never been in a house this nice. Or this big really. Where the dinning room it's self was about as huge as the cafeteria in the school. And the scrambled eggs? AMAZING. And don't even get him started on the Cheerios. He was sure they tasted better then at home. Tony's egg white frittata…. That was just plain weird. But even through Tony's façade of cool, calm, and cocky, Bruce noticed that maybe something was wrong. Maybe it had to do with sleeping with one of the scariest girls in school.

Loki'd never slept with a man before. Never slept with anyone before. He'd also never played poker before, drunk so much before, watched his brother get a stupid tattoo before, and never, never before woken with such an awful headache, or puked out his guts so much. He silently vowed, while bent over the toilet, the boy from the tattoo parlor, Remy, holding his hair back, that he'd never get that drunk again. And that Thor would pay for Loki's suffering. Because it was obviously his brother's fault. Thor had been right about one thing though. There's a first time for everything.

What brings people together better then blackouts, booze, bruises, state championships, and big hulking black men with eye patches? Summer camp.

Too bad that Director Fury's class didn't know that you could have bypassed all of the blackouts and hangovers with a trip to summer camp.


	4. You're SemiSweet and I'm Half Doomed

**Chapter 4: You're Semi-Sweet and I'm Half Doomed**

Steve Rogers slept with Thor once. Okay… twice. OKAY. LIKE THREE TIMES! HAPPY?

Yes. They'd fucked. Three times. Over the course of three months okay? Like… They were friends now. Now that Thor'd stopped being a baby. And Rogers had loosened up enough to let Thor skipped practice once in awhile. And what's wrong with the fact that Rogers totally lost his V-card to Thor? Like…. That's not a big deal right?…. RIGHT?

And Rogers was so _not_ freaking out about this. It was so not a big deal. And they'd only have sex three times. And yes they were the most amazing three moments of Rogers' young life, they were just three moments. Three separate moments…. but Steve Rogers found it very, very hard to stop texting Thor. In fact he did pretty well for about three weeks. Until he got a message in the middle of track.

He was lined up to run against Michael, the tall wiry kid who was fluent in German and had a British accent. The gun was juuuust about to go off when Steve's phone rang. And not just rang but _blared _across the track. Like on full volume, amplified by it's position on the bleachers. Michael's girlfriend, the one with used-to-be-green-now-yellow hair was started so bad that she dropped her notebooks which spilled out under the bleachers. The team glared at Steve as his phone rang again, and after the fourth time, they made him go answer it while Michael helped his girlfriend gather up her work from under the bleachers.

"What?" He hissed into the phone. "What do you want, Thor?" He knew it was Thor from the beginning. You know how he knew? The ring tone. _I'm sexy and I know it._

"Steve!" Thor replied sounding panicked "Steve we have a problem!"

"Yeah. You calling me in the middle of track." Steve rolled his eyes, unable to tell if this was a joke, or not.

"No!" Thor insisted "There's a… _thing_ in my house."

Steve put on of his hands on his hip "Thor! It's probably your brother's pet fucking turtle!" This had happened before. Cerberus had escaped from histerriuma couple times before, and Thor had flipped, forgetting that his brother owned a pet dinosaur.

"No!" Thor replied "It is not the fucking turtle!"

"Then what, what is it?" Steve sighed

"It's _baby_. And the birth certificate says it's _mine_."

Natasha didn't make it a habit of wandering the school halls after hours. In fact the only reason she was still at the school was that she had to stay and make up a test. A test that she should have even had to retake, it wasn't like it had been her fault that Loki had face planted on the running track during P.E. that day. Or that thor had stood and laughed and she'd been charged to take him to the nurse and miss almost all of 5th. If life was fair and Thor wasn't such a bitch she would haven even been wandering the school halls, and she sure as hell wouldn't have missed watching _Ninja Warrior_. Fuckin' kid. Thinking he's a fuckin' God.

She was making her way out of the science building when she heard it. A crash and a very loud pop. Natasha leaned over the rails to gazed down at the top level of the building before mounting the stairs and heading up them to investigate the noise. As she drew closer to the lab door, she could hear the sound of popping becoming rapider, and the excited voices of two boys. Slowly, cautiously she pushed open the lab door, like something bad might be on the other side.

"Get the tongs Bruce!" was what she heard first upon entering the room. Standing, facing her, were Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, a chemistry set spread out in-front of them, and a large bubbling mass contained in a little glass beaker at the center. "I think it's done!" Tony exclaimed excitedly.

"What are you two _doing_?" Natasha asked letting the door swing shut behind her. "Please tell me you're not in league with Loki..."

Stark scoffed and adjusted his goggles. "That amateur? Please. We're working on the next great breakthrough."

"Bubbling green goo that pops?" Natasha asked them.

Bruce laughed slightly "No, it's a little more complicated then that." He explained as Stark was slowly, carefully removing the beaker from the burner. "It's our entry for the National S.H.I.E.L.D Science Fair."

"You guys are still competing in science fairs?" She asked next, watching Stark pour liquid nitrogen into the bag he'd place the beaker in.

"At least we have something to contribute to the world." He replied. "Besides paper mâche volcanos and," He looked up at her. "Your nipples." Natasha shot him a look. At least them sleeping together hadn't changed their relationship.

"So what is it exactly?" She asked and Stark waved her off saying it was way beyond her mental capacity. Bruce, however, decided to take pity on the poor jock girl and give her a full rundown of the experiment. For once, Natasha thought that maybe Stark was right about her mental capacity.

When Bruce started to write out a formula on the board Stark stopped him. "Guys." He said loudly, peering out the window, overlooking the student parking. "Check out the Captain." He pointed down at Steve Rogers who was hurrying across the lot, still in his track uniform, like he was trying to get somewhere very fast and not look conspicuous. He was talking on his cell phone.

"What do you think he's up to?" Bruce asked.

Stark narrowed his eyes. "One way to find out." he turned and grabbed the lunch cooler of liquid nitrogen and bubbling green popping goo. "Well?" He asked when he looked back and saw that Natasha and Bruce hadn't moved.

"You can't go around following people in your corvette, Stark," Natasha told him. "And its _Steve,_ so what if he's y'know suspicious looking? He's captain of every sport, except archery, and a very, _very_ strict rule follower. It's not like you're gonna get any of your prevy kicks from following him around. He's not gonna do anything bad."

Stark regarded her for a moment. "You're right. He's not one of those people that go off and do heroin behind the tool shed, but I would like to point out that he is ditching practice, which is a new habit for him, and I also happen to have acquired the knowledge that he and Thor have been making the beast with two backs. Y'know, bumpin' uglies, makin' whoopee. Introducing their pissers. Doing the vertical grind, the horizontal bop, getting some stank on the hang down. Fucking for ol' glory?"

"Yes, Stark." Natasha said with crossed arms "We get it. They're banging. But Thor bangs _everyone_."

"Wait... Thor's gay?" Bruce asked.

"Why else would he have such great body?" Natasha asked as Stark headed out the door. "Wait!" She shouted, her and Bruce chasing after him.

"Oh, have you decided to come along?" Stark asked,

"I just don't want you getting into any trouble."

"Later, Romanov, we need to have a talk about your misconceptions about my nocturnal habits."

He'd waded through gaggles and gangs of cheerleaders, trying to find any who'd attended Tony Stark's party three months ago. Needless to say, they all had. It had taken all of those three months to find one that actually remembered that night. Actually he found three that remembered that night. One of their most vivid memories was seeing Steve Rogers show up with a black eye and toss Thor Odinson into the pool, where the pair then made out passionately. Clint didn't remember this incident. The other thing it seemed that no one on the cheer squad remembered was who'd slept with Clint. They all seemed hazy on that subject, each one telling him it was someone else. He was half sure they were giving him the go-around.

Clint was in the process of conversing with one of those cheerleaders when he saw Steve Rogers slink off away from practice, and then, before long, he watched Stark, Bruce, and Natasha jump into the Corvette before speeding off after him. Clint watched them drive off before running after them, leaving the girl he'd been talking to behind. Now running after a Corvette was not the smartest choice of Clint's young life but thankfully he caught them at the stoplight right outside the school.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Clint asked as he caught up to them.

"We're following Rogers." Stark announced. "It's a super secret operation okay, Robin Hood? So like skedaddle."

Clint gave him a measured look "Have you been taking any papery drugs this afternoon, Tony? Why are you indulging his drug induced fantasies? He could like turn on you at any moment and knaw your face off." He told Natasha.

"I just don't want them to get into trouble!" Natasha said.

"So you in or you out?" Stark asked Clint, "Or the mission. In or out. Choose now."

Clint gave him a look as the light turned green and Steve started to turn. "It's not like this is the damn Matrix man, I don't even-"

Stark grabbed the front of Clint's shirt, pulling him into the car and pulling away from the curb to speed around other cars and catch up to Steve at the same time. "There. I choose for you. Welcome to the Rabbit Hole."

Steve might have noticed the red Corvette that had been tailing him is he hadn't been so worried about the fact that Thor was sitting at home with a baby. _His _baby. Steve was still trying to fathom how that had happened when he pulled past the gates of Thor's house and parked the car considerably haphazardly in front of the door. He rushed out of his little American made car and bounded up the steps throwing the unlocked door open and crossing the threshold.

Thor was standing in the entry way, holding Cerberus III out in front of him like a weapon. Across the hall from Thor was a small car seat, and in it a little baby girl.

"Steve!" Thor shouted and Cerberus retreated into his shell "Thank the Gods you're here!"

"What… are you doing?" Steve asked relived to see that Thor seemed to be okay.

Thor pointed at the baby "It's a baby. It's my baby. STEVE. It's my BABY."

Steve held up his hand and walked farther in to the room. "How do you know?" Thor pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and fluttered it around, still standing hallway-length away from the baby. "Birth certificate?" Steve asked and unfolded the paper. Written on the form in the father slot was 'Thor Odinson.' All thoughts that this was a joke removed themselves from Steve's head at that point. If it had been he knew that Thor couldn't have resisted writing something like 'Thor the Most Awesome and Powerful God in all of Asgard, Wielder of Mjolnir! Odinson.'

"Thor…" Steve muttered looking from Thor to the little girl who was fussing and pulling on her socks. "India Rose, that's her name. She's your _kid_!"

Thor gave him a look and relaxed his stance. "Yeah. I know. That's why I _called _you. I don't know what to do."

"I'd say that this is quiet a predicament." A voiced called from the doorway. The voiced belong to none other then Tony Stark and he was standing in the doorway with his three cronies, Natasha, Clint and Bruce.

"What the _fuck_ did you bring them here for?" Thor shouted throwing the reclaimed birth certificate at Steve. "Did I say 'yeah why don't you bring the whole gang, Freddy'? NO!"

"Whose turtle is that?" Clint asked, "And why do you have it?" Thor looked down at the turtle still in his hand. He made a noise like lightning and made a Darth Vader claw in Steve's direction.

"Speaking of that turtle." Loki called from the stairs. "I'll have him back now thank you ever much." He descended the stairs and took Cerberus from Thor "Oh and please let mother know that Remy will be staying for dinner." He called before disappearing up the stairs.

"What exactly am I suppose to do?" Thor asked collapsing into a chair In the kitchen. The rest of the party followed him, Steve holding Thalia and shushing her. "I can't like…. keep It in a box in my closet, like one would do a pet you were not allowed to have."

"Maybe you could tell your parents that you've started baby sitting." Natasha suggested.

"Oh yes." Loki interrupted from the door. "And how would you explain the fact that the baby never _left_?"

"Thank you for joining us, brothar." Thor grumbled.

"And miss the mockery? Of course not!" Loki replied happily taking a seat across from Thor, Remy following quickly. "Now whose baby is this exactly?" he asked as Bruce unfolded the birth certificate.

"Says here a 'Jane Foster'." He said looking around "Anyone know who that Is?"

There was a collective murmur around the group. Thor groaned and let his head fall onto the marble counter top. Stark put his hand over his face. Clint shook his head discreetly while Natasha gave Thor a disapproving look.

"So, it seems like everyone but me then…" Bruce muttered as Thor opened the refrigerator and set a six-pack of sodas out on the counter.

"She was my chemistry tutor last year." Thor said opening his can with his teeth.

"You banged your tutor?" Bruce asked.

Loki gave him a look. "Of course he did. Thor bangs any bipedal creature." Thor gave him a look. "It means they walk upright on two legs." Loki informed him. Thor nodded.

"I can't believe you got her knocked up." Stark said "It's called a condom, Thor."

"I _know_ that." Thor snapped "I used one. I just think that maybe it broke… and maybe I noticed…. and maybe, just maybe, I kept going…." The group groaned in unison again. "Can we get back to the point?" Thor asked "What am I going to do with It?"

"She has a name Thor." Natasha said crossing her arms.

"Whatever."

"Mayhaps yew should tell yewr folks, them." Remy suggested and the rest of the group nodded in agreement.

Thor rolled his eyes and tossed his empty can across the room. "What am I suppose to say? Mom. Dad. Since 8th grade I've been fucking any… what was the word you used? Bipedal girl. And last year, the girl how was helping my in science and I got it on and ta-da; I am now the proud father of a three month old baby girl. Sorry I suck at life." The group had suddenly fallen very quiet, and Thor frowned at them frustrated.

"Well." Someone said from behind him "That's a good start." turning around slowly, he saw his mother and, to his dismay, his father standing behind him at the door to the garage.

"Mom…. Dad….." Thor gulped. "Uh…. I…. I pasted my math tested today?" He offered.

"Let's talk." Odin muttered.


	5. I Heard Mr Young Sing About Us

A/N: Thanks to all your guys that have showed interest in the story, I'm totally flattered. Okay, now on to more important things, like how I totally butchered the Cajun accent. I'm so sorry, I used to be really good at writing it but I fell out of touch with it and now, well you saw how much I sucked. That and I'm trying to give all the characters some screen time, so please if you personally would like to hear more about, I dunno, Clint or Bruce, tell me and I'll write more from their perspective. Also, I apologize for the grammar and spelling mistakes. I know they're bad.

Oh Gods yeah. I'm sorry I haven't posted, I was out of the country for 2 weeks and didn't have internet, so please, forgive me.

Also, I've totally forgotten a disclaimer so here it is: The Marvel Avengers belong to Marvel, their creator, and whatever movie studio picked them up, I sadly have no claim to any or them. Even Thor.

**Chapter 5: I Heard Mr. Young Sing About Us.**

There's certain time of night when you automatically assume that any calls you get are bad news. Why would anyone with _good _news be calling past 3? They wouldn't, they just generally wouldn't. Normally the calls past 3 are people calling because a) someone has kicked the bucket b) they're lost c) someone has found they're way into the nasty part of town or d) they've been arrested and need you to be the best friend in the world best friend and bail them out. Those are the only reasons people call you past 3 in the morning. That or they've lost they're baby daughter. Steven Rogers was too paranoid that the latter call would come in one of these night to just blatantly ignore the phone like he wanted too.

Steve rolled over in bed, his hand groping around in the tangle of sheets for his phone. Blindly he found it and didn't even gaze at the bright screen, he just slammed his phone onto he green button, cutting off the military bugle alarm mid refrain, and shoved it to his ear.

"Thor, I putting my pants on right now, where's the last place to you saw her?" He said stumbling out of bed and groping around in the dark for his pants.

_"It amazes me, the faith you put into your friend." _The caller responded a smirk evident in their voice.

Steve froze, his sweatpants half on, one of his feet tangled in the material. "You're not Thor." He stated, phone cradled into between his shoulder and ear.

_"You're very good at making observations." _They replied and Steve realized it was a man.

"Who are you?" He asked slumping down onto the bed, hands still on the waistband of his sweats.

_"I'm a friend of Director Fury." _He explained, his tone was sharp and crisp. Steve recognized it as someone in the military, someone who often dealt with high rank officials. He was surprised he hadn't heard it earlier in the conversation.

"Because you're friends with Fury, doesn't mean you're friends with me." Steve said, the want to fall back asleep all but gone now, and what he said next was a lie. "Tell me why your calling, or I'm falling back asleep."

_"Next Saturday. 5:00 am. Room 216. Be there."_

"Why?" Steve asked. He couldn't tell if this was one of his friend's stupid ideas of some kind of joke. "Who _is_this? Bucky?"

_"This is a job offer, Mister Rogers. I would take care to consider this offer very carefully. It could be a mistake you regret for the rest of your life. One week Steven Rogers." _

The line went dead after that, a drone filling Steve ears with doubt and a strange nagging curiosity. He dropped his phone to the ground and rolled back into bed smothering his face in the pillows. He'd ask Thor what he thought about this tomorrow morning. Yes. Thor would help figure out what exactly that call was about.

The convention center was a buzz with activity. The high ceilinged room was filled with a bustling of people from 12 to 34, all of whom dragging and toting around their own projects. A few veterans of the fair were watching from the shadows, their eyebrows raising or falling accordingly as they watched the contestants set their boards up. The sir was permeated with the stench of anxiety as everyone tried to get their exhibit just right. This was the New York branch of the National,_ National, _S.H.I.E.L.D Science Fair. Forget lame projects on mold and bread, on CO₂ and fire, on dead roses and cleaning chemicals. This was the big leagues. This was where you saw the working model and schematics for the first ever hoover board. This was where you saw the cure for cancer. This was where the government looked for the United State's brightest minds.

In the middle of the bustle on the street of kids with poster boards and adults carrying nothing more then an iPad, the guards didn't even have to stop the red Corvette to check the driver's pass. They knew who was driving well before they pulled into the lot.

"So this is it." Tony announced tapping his hands on the steering wheel before grinning at Bruce. "All the work finally paid off right?" Bruce shrugged, unsure, and glanced at the lunch cooler in his lap.

"Are you sure we haven't forgotten anything?" He asked glancing in the half backseat. He still wasn't exactly sure how they'd gotten four people in to the Corvette the other day.

Tony gave him a look over the top of his sunglass as he jumped over the door and out of the car. "Trust me. I've been doing this for enough years." Bruce followed Tony in through the wide loading dock. "Every year I'm here, setting up my poster-board, or dragging in my nano-molecular transducer through the aisle, its quite fun of course, but over the course of my long ingenious life, I've learned a couple things about this fair. Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"How many times have you won, Tony?" Bruce asked as they found their numbered stall on the floor. Tony didn't answer for a moment.

"Never." He finally said as he wiped his hand over their table. "But this year's gonna change that, right? We're gonna win this time." Bruce nodded before hoisting the lunch cooler onto the table.

"We'll win for sure this year."

* * *

Natasha Romaov hadn't _really_believed that Tony and Bruce had been planning to enter and compete in a lame science fair. They were grown men... they were older then middle school boys, they had no place in a science fair anymore. She herself had stopped doing

school science fairs as soon as it wasn't mandatory anymore. how could anyone find joy in something like this? And why would anyone go out of their way to enter the S.H.I.E.L.D fair? No, she didn't think that they'd _actually_do it.

She was sadly proven wrong. Her and troupe of her gymnastics friends had been out, cruising around downtown, being the teenagers that they were, when they'd come across the road block. Now, it wasn't a real road block, not one of those police things that one saw in movies, or even a block because of some idiot running off the road. No, this was just an incredible amount of kids wandering back and froth across the street from the Convention Center to whatever was on the other side. It seemed logical to park the car and get out, if only to make fun of those loser science nerds.

Natasha was leaning against the car, shading her eyes from the sun when it sped past. The sleek red Corvette drove right past them, stopped momentarily at the block-aid of losers, and then continued on towards the back of the center. In the moment that it stopped Natsaha had a good look at it's driver, Tony Stark. SHe couldn't actually believe it. He was here with Bruce for something lame like a science fair. One of the friends she was with laughed and voiced the her exact thoughts one with more malice. _Look at Stark, that fuckin loser. He's still building volcanos in his basement like a looooser._

Natasha had jumped in the car then and yelled her friends until they joined her and agreed to her request of driving away. She glanced back once more at the center. SHe wouldn't have her not-worth-shit friends teasing Tony Stark. He was too good for that.

The fair had been going strong for 4 straight hours, the hum of voices was a constant and the occasional explosion for the pyro section of the fair had become the soundtrack for the day. It was like a constant buzzing in your ear, an annoying fly that you suddenly and quickly got used too. Bruce didn't even thing it was that loud anymore in the convention center.

Judges wondered the aisles glancing at project and stopping to read the tiny print poster boards if they so choose, most of them didn't even stop to talk to the contestants though. Unless they were Tony and Bruce. Tony had made the decision that they weren't going to use posterboard and printed out information. They were going to _make _the judges stop and ask them what the lunch color and the liquid nitrogen were. It was Tony's new theory on winning. Apparently he'd been doing this, and losing, for long enough, that every year he perfected his projects and what they looked like.

Bruce wasn't so sure about this whole 'no posterboard' thing, everyone else there had posterboards with colorful letters and big labels proclaiming what their hypotheses were and the objectives of their projects. But then again, every single judge has stopped to talk to them, while they passed over most of Tony and Bruce's opponents. Maybe Tony really was the boy genius he proclaimed himself to be.

"Watson." Tony said suddenly as one of the judges walked away. Bruce turned to face Tony a look of confusion on his face. the other boy had a wide grin on his face, but a strange intensity in his eyes. "There's a man walking toward us. _Don't look! _I just wanted you to know. His look is very... sinister."

"Why are you calling me Watson?" Bruce asked. Tony grinned again.

"If was I was Sherlock, which I am. You'd be my Watson. The voice of Reason in my crazy head." Tony explained as the man reached them. He was shorter then Tony, and done up in a suit.

"Tony Stark? I'm going to need to speak to you in privet please." He said with what would have been a friendly smile. "I'm a friend of Fury,"


	6. The Type of Memories

A/N: Okay so there's a couple things that aren't exactly cannon in this chapter. Well they're not cannon for the movies or comics, but they are for the actual Norse myth. So there. Just know that.

**Chapter 6: The Type of Memories That Turn Your Bones to Glass.**

As if the world had to add to his shitty circumstances, it had started raining right as he started dragging the boxes out of the house. No one had showed up to help him move and now he was going to have to make a ridiculous amount of trips in his tiny little Volkswagen because Volstagg had refused to lend him the band's van, he'd claimed he needed to get it detailed. And now, now it had to rain. Perfect. Fucking wonderful.

The first crack of thunder resounded as Thor shoved another box, this one marked **THINGS YOU WANT TO UNPACK FIRST, DIPSHIT**, into the back of his bug. He glared at the sky, rearranging his sopping hood before turning to stalk back inside. Thor was still trying to figure out exactly how, and why, he'd gotten kicked out of his house, and why exactly his mother had let it happen. He knew it had something to do with his daughter, and the fact that he'd called his father an 'old man' and a 'fool' but, really? REALLY? Kicking him out of the house? That seemed a bit extreme. Didn't it? It wasn't like he was failing any of his class, he'd just had sex with a bitch of a science nerd who was apparently against abortion, and raising a child herself. He had even started going to the stupid football practices, which he still deemed unnecessary.

But, nooooooo. That wasn't enough.

Thor jumped at the sound of his own name, so caught up in thinking of all the nasty names he was going to call Jane in the message he was going to leave on her voicemail tonight. Turning he spotted Steve Rogers standing on the edge of Thor's lawn, his car parked a few feet away.

"What do you want?" Thor snapped shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt. "I am busy right now. And yes, I know I have not been attending practice."

Steve glanced from the stack of boxes next to the door to the car that was jam-packed with them. "Are you _moving_?" He asked brow furrowing.

"No. I have just packed up my shit for shits and giggles." Thor said turning and trudging back to the door to grab another box. "Why are you here?"

Steve shrugged and followed Thor up the path. "I wanted to talk to you. But you weren't answering your phone." Thor shrugged back picking up another box.

"Yeah. It got turned off." Thor said stiffly, pushing past Steve to slog out into the rain again. "But hell thanks for noticing _something_you know? I am glad you're so fucking observant. It puts hope in me for the mortal race." He shoved the box he'd been carrying roughly into the backseat and hoped that his show of testosterone didn't break anything in the box.

"Dude, what's going on?" Steve finally asked grabbing Thor's arm, his strong fingers digging into the bulge of Thor's bicep muscles. "Would you just fucking stop and tell me what's up? What is _wrong?_" Thor turned his hard blue eyes on Steve. Steve had to fight the urge to shrink back, Thor's eyes held a fierceness he'd only ever seen in them right before a game, a hardness that made people not want to fight Thor. It took almost all of Steve's will power to hold Thor's gave. He wouldn't show weakness. Not here. Not now.

"What's _wrong?_ Do you even have to ask?" Thor shouted wrenching his arm out of Steve's grasp. "Jane Fucking Foster, the mother of my fucking _child_, abandoned said child on my front porch and now is refusing to return_ my _calls; almost all of my friends have begun _ignoring_ me; I do not have enough money to even purchase my AP tests, let alone _feed_ my daughter; I have not slept in about two weeks; I have falling in love with the wrong Goddamn person; I am fairly sure my father has disowned me; and too top it all off, I have just been cast out from my _house_! So yeah, maybe, just maybe, something is fucking wrong Steven."

Steve took a step back, he was in some form of shock. He'd seen Thor almost every other day in Fury's class and he hadn't picked up any signs of what Thor had been going through. Sure the tall boy had looked tired, maybe a little stressed, but Steve had figured it was from taking care of Thalia and studying for the up coming tests in class, he'd never thought that Thor had been _kicked out of his house_. Not once had that thought crossed his mind, he'd never thought that he'd actually know someone who's parents were that awful that they kicked they're own_ child_out of the house.

"Thor..." Steve said trying to find the words that stuck in his throat like stiff honey. "I'm sorry. For just... for not noticing. For not asking. For not being there." Thor sighed and sagged back, his shoulders dropping a little, the mask dripping off and leaving behind a haggard and tired Thor. Steve could see he hadn't shaved in about five days, the fierceness falling from his eyes leaving taking with it some of the brightness from the irises, his hair was tangled and there was a spot of baby food on his shirtfront.

"It is alright." Thor murmured after awhile. "I am sorry I snapped at you."

"Don't be. I deserved it." Steve said and reached out to grab Thor's calloused hand "So hey, how about I help you move okay? And then afterwards we'll go out for coffee. My treat."

"Can I bring my daughter?" Thor smiled and Steve nodded before they both ran inside to get a brief reprieve from the rain.

it was still raining, a light pounding on the glass panes in the front of the coffee shop. The inside of the shop was dark from the overcast sky, the sun could barely pierce the haze of clouds floating above the city. The floor at their feet was a sputtering mess of shadows from the rain on the window. They were sitting at one of the booths in the coffee shop, Thalia sitting in Thor's lap playing happily with a Kleenex he'd putted out of his pocket. Thor's hair had all but dried now, leaving it in a curly blond mess about his head, like a blond halo for a God, his sweater still damp.

"What exactly did they say?" Thor asked. Steve was in the middle of telling him about his midnight caller from the other night.

Steve shrugged "that they knew me, that they were offering me a job and that I should meet them next saturday. That was all." Thor's brow furrowed as Thalia started ripping the Kleenex apart and stuffing the bits back into the pocket the Kleenex had originated from.

"This odd," Thor said taking a bite of the cinnamon twist Steve had bought. They'd been eating it for about and hour or more and the fucking thing hadn't gotten any smaller. "I can not understand if this someone's complex joke or not..."

"You're in the same boat as me then chap." Steve said resting his head in his hands and sighing. "Will you come with me? To the meeting? I'm too damn curious to let this one go, but I don't want to like get kidnapped and ransomed out."

Thor shrugged a yes and brought his coffee to his lips "Well, you do know that saying, curiosity killed that cat. Of course the cat didn't have a 6' 4" football Viking on his team." He smirked as they took a drink before his eyes narrowed and stiffened as the shop door opened and closed a pair of girls walking in.

Steve followed Thor's gaze to watch as Sit pulled her hood off and tossed her wave of golden hair while her companion, a small mousey girl, shook out her hair too. Thor was standing resoundingly fast, Thalia suddenly in Steve's lap, Thor's abandoned coffee mug spinning on the table where he'd set it down too fast, like a dropped coin. Steve stopped the coffee before it could spill as Thor took heavy steps toward the girls.

"_You_fucking whore." Thor spat he'd reached the girl's in about two steps, his long legs carrying him to them quickly. The mousey girl turned he eyebrows raised before they darted together angrily.

"_You_." She said accusingly.

"_Me_? _You_!" Thor shouted "_You _left _our_ daughter on _my_ Goddamn porch! _You_ fucking abandoned _her_!"

"_You're_ the one that knocked _me _up!"

Thor sputtered for a moment before regaining his composure. "That doesn't matter anymore." He said "It doesn't matter because _she's_ part of _our_ lives now. _My_ life more then _yours _of course. How heartless can _you_ be? _She's _just a baby. _She's_ was _yours_too."

"_She'll_ always be mine. _You_ have no claim to _her, you_stupid, big headed, fucktard." Jane Foster shouted back glaring at Thor who stood about two feet taller then her. This is and exaggeration of course, but it was close to two feet.

"Do not talk to me like that," Thor growled "You have no right."

"Thor," Sif stepped in, right between Thor and Jane "This is really unnness-"

Thor turned his glare on her instead "Stuff it, Sif. I do not want to hear your thoughts on the matter at all. First, you fuck me, then you ignore me, and now you are slinking around behind my back with... her!" He accused pointing at Jane who had backed up considerably. "You are just a dirty wench. And I was never sorry for you when Loki cut off all your hair in kindergarden, just, by the way," Thor turned away from them and beaconed to Steve, "Let us leave, Steven. Also, Jane. Do not except to ever be a part of our daughter's life again." Thor's boots clicked loudly as he marched out of the coffee shop, Thalia in his arms, and disappeared into the rain outside. Steve wavered awkwardly before shrugging an 'I'm sorry' at Jane Foster, who looked like she was about to cry and following Thor.


	7. She'll Make You Take Her To The Club

**Chapter 7: She'll Make You Take Her To The Club, But Then She Leaves With Her Friends, She Likes To Stay Late At the Party Cause The Fun Never Ends.**

They never understood him. But what's new about that? He was a teenager, and they, well they were his parents. Parents were engineered to not understand their kids, it was a chemical thing in the brain to make separation easier… Some bullshit like that. But, Clint was pretty sure that his parents wouldn't have any problem with letting him 'fly the nest' as it were. Especially seeing that they weren't his actual parents.

They'd gotten into yet another fight about what Clint was going to do with his life, because apparently joining the circus was not a legitimate career choice. _Did he think that Natasha, such a promising girl, was going to join the circus or Tony Stark for that matter? _No he didn't think that Natasha was going to join the circus, what did that even have to do with anything _mom_? Just what the fuck? That had nothing to do with his career choice.

And so with a few slams of a couple different doors, Clint made his way outside his cheeks hot with anger, and down the street with no direction at all of where he was going.

_Away_ was the only coherent thought in his head when the tears started.

* * *

_You should have seen her, Bruce, she was perfect, y'know? All milky white and perfect skin. And fuck, her body. That gymnastics uniform hardly does it justice. You just have to see it. No imagination can do her justice._

He gritted his teeth, and the hand on his shopping basket tightened to white knuckles, is nails digging into his palm. Why couldn't Tony show more class? More refinement? Why did he have to go around bragging to _everyone _that he slept with Natasha Romanoff? Thor didn't even brag about who he'd banged over the weekend. And okay, sure, 'everyone' did just mean Bruce himself. But that was more than enough. He really didn't need to hear it. _He_ really didn't want to hear _it_.

It wasn't like he'd been in love with Natasha since third grade, it wasn't like he was convinced she was 'the one', and it wasn't like she totally just ignored him half the time, leaving him only to his dreams and hopes. It wasn't like Tony had about a 400% better chance with her. And Tony really didn't need to brag about it.

"Hey!"

He could just barely hear the call over his headphones.

"Bruce!"

* * *

You can see the whole city from here, the green hills where people like Tony and the Odinsons live, the rich kids with circle drives and mansions. The neighborhood where Tasha lives, in the little house with a big yard and a tree house in the back. You can see the ghetto and Thor's new ghetto apartment complex, and Steve's perfect American family home. Clint doesn't even try to look for his house, he doesn't want to acknowledge that he has one. He wants to pretend that he lives in his tree, that he won't have to come down eventually and slink back home. He wants to pretend he's not still a teenager with a history paper due tomorrow. He wants to pretend that it isn't Sunday night.

But he can't play pretend forever. Someday he has to climb down from his tree.

"Hey. Birdbrain." Parked under the tree was Tony, his hands on his hips, sunglasses pulled down to the end of his nose. "What are you doing? Keeping your eggs warm?"

Clint glared at him and swung his legs. "Fuck off."

"Oh come now." Tony said starting to climb the tree "I was only goofing around. You can usually take my jokes." He struggled a little to get off the ground, but managed to get himself onto the first branch.

"Yeah. Well not today." Clint shrugged and Tony grunted again, wiggling himself onto the same branch as Clint, he'd lost his glasses on the way up.

Tony finally settled himself on the branch, he still looked uncomfortable. "I thought penguins mated for life."

"That's assuming we live in a cold climate." Clint replied "Besides it's not about her."

* * *

"Stocking up on fruit?" Natasha asked him looking into his basket as they strolled through the chip aisle.

Bruce nodded giving no vocal answer. He didn't trust himself. He couldn't trust himself. Why should he?

Natasha swung her arms and looked around "Sooooo... Bruce, how'd you guys do at that science fair thing?"

Bruce shrugged. In truth they had had to leave early because of the shady guy who'd asked them to come with him, so they had 'technically' forfeited. Bruce was pretty sure that Tony was in some kind of argument with the judges to get them back into the running. Bruce was also pretty sure that he would lose.

"Bruce." Natasha said finally stopping him "What the fuck is wrong? Did something happen? Or are you just pulling a Loki?" Bruce tried to break her gaze, but she wouldn't have that and they stood there for a good few minutes in silence, Natasha's eyebrows high on her forehead, Bruce trying very hard not to look at her. Finally he gave up with a sigh.

"I heard you slept with Tony." He said finally.

Natasha stood there just watching him for a minute, before she smiled and a laugh escaped her lips "That's what this is about? I slept with Tony? Oh Bruce," She smiled again "Trust me. That was a one-time thing."

* * *

"YOU SLEPT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND?!" Clint shouted his hands shooting out, fingers finding Tony's shirt and pulling.

"Well.. uh..." Tony stammered suddenly very aware of how far off the ground he was. He could fall just like his sunglass and _die._He didn't really feel like dying today. Clint's face was very close to his at the moment, and Tony could see the flush in his cheeks and the dried tear tracks, feel the breath on his face, hot and fast and scared. Like a wild animal.

_I'm sorry _is the only thing he can think to say. It seems that 'I'm sorry' isn't good enough for Clint.


	8. Fuck The Pain Away

**Chapter 8: I Can Come Back If I Crawl, But I Got Bad Knees And I Can't Say I'm Sorry.**

**Or.**

**Fuck The Pain Away.**

"Hey, Sif."

_Oh. It's you._

"Like your phone didn't tell you."

_What do you want?_

"I wanted to... apologize for yelling at you. At the coffee shop."

_Really? _He can hear the laughter in her voice. _I doubt that._

"Really. I'm sorry... Can we put this behind ourselves?"

_Can you pretend you were sorry when Loki cut my hair?_

"I can try. You have to admit, it was funny."

Thor knew he was forgiven when he heard Sif laugh

_It was funny. I heard Odin kicked you out. Where's your new place?_

After he gave her directions he added "I have a washing machine."

_Really? I might have to come over and do my laundry._

"Great. It's laundry day for me too."

_Be right over._

When Sif said 'be right over' Thor knew that was Sif talk for 'I'm walking out the door, hide anything you don't want me to see'. He considered putting India in the ghetto closet, but it was fleeting thought that he considered only for a moment (maybe two), before rushing around his ghetto apartment trying to rid it of teenage boy smell and old pizza boxes. He was almost successful.

"I see you've been living on pizza." Sif announced when Thor opened the door, one of the last pizza boxes in his hand. "And baby food." She smiled at him as she lugged a bag of dirty clothing into the apartment, setting it down before turning to look at Thor again, hands on her ample hips. "So where is the little brute?"

"Other room. Napping, I think"

He was standing there, with the pizza box in his hand, hair all bed rumpled, sock with holes, in a shirt with a baby food stain and jeans she knew he'd worn at least two days in a row. _Pitiful,_ was completely the wrong word. _Heartbreaking _was more like it. She hugged him, then, arms wrapping around his narrow hips.

"You could have told me." She spoke into his shirt. "About India. And Jane. And this place." She felt his strong arms around her and her knees grew weak.

"I tried..." He said before nudging her with his hips "Should I show you that washer now?" Sif looked up at him and smiled.

Thor's 'washing machine' was ancient. A bucket of water and a washboard would have been more modern then the piece of crap sitting in his laundry room. Sif was probably going to have to _actually_ do her laundry when she got home. The dryer didn't work Thor explained as he emptied the washer, throwing his wet cloths into a hamper to get hung up and dried.

"Well." Sif said pulling the bag of laundry into the tiny room "Good thing I just have to wash them then." She could see Thor's Adam's apple bob as he nodded. She smirked as she started throwing the clothing into the ghetto machine. "Have you talked to Loki recently?" She asked.

"No, I don't have a phone anymore. Like at all." He said leaning against the door frame. "And I refuse to use a pay-phone. They smell like urine." Sif laughed as she closed the washing machine and turned around, bracing herself against the lid on her hands.

"I think he's in Midsummer Night's Dream." She explained "I see him around the theater all the time."

Thor nodded walking up to her and pining her against the washing machine. "He's a weird kid," He reached behind her and turned the dial on the machine. "You forgot to turn it on."

"Did I?" Sif asked hooking her finger's under Thor's waistband pulling him as close to her as he could get. She could feel the bulge in his jeans.

"Silly me."

Thor lifted her up onto the washing machine his mouth coming down and catching hers as she shimmed out of her jeans, kicking them off. Thor's rough hands were all over her, pulling at her clothes, kneading at her skin, at her taught muscles. Her hands flew between them, to pull out his wallet and retrieving the condom that she knew was there. There was pushing, pushing his pants down, pushing her panties off, pushing the condom on, pushing inside her.

"Gods." She moaned, gripping his shoulders, her legs wrapping around his hips. "You know, Jane really misses you."

"Are we gonna talk about this now?" Thor asked his nails biting into her side.

"I think you should-oh-call her." Sif bit her lip, Thor's fingers twisting up in her dark hair. "Didn't you two date in middle school?"

"For three years." Thor replied with a grunt. "We broke up when she went to a different high school."

"Three years is a long time."

"Tell that to her."

"I did. She misses you."

"Sif."

"What?"

"Stop talking."

* * *

"I still can't believe you were best friends with Natasha in kindergarten," Thor said, his eyes carefully following India's movements as she crawled across his ghetto carpet. The pair were relaxing on the sofa, Sif laying stretched out across it.

Sif rolled her eyes and pushed Thor with her foot, shooting him a look over the top of the yearbook she'd found. "I can't believe you didn't know. Aren't you afraid she's going to catch something crawling around down there? Like hantavirus or something?"

"My carpet doesn't have hantavirus." Thor retorted.

"It might have crabs." Sif smirked as Thor stood quickly and retrieved India from the floor. She laughed at him. "Loser daddy-pants."

"Just cause I don't want my daughter getting STDs." He said letting India pull at his t-shirt.

"Then maybe you should let her sit in your lap." Sif countered gasping through her laughter when Thor punched her in the hip. "Truce, truce!" She giggled the year book falling closed.

"Auntie Sif should learn what's best for her." Thor told his daughter who was watching Sif with big blue eyes. "She should learn when her mouth might get her in trouble." Sif rolled her eyes and went back to flipping through the book as Thor left the room to put India down for a nap. When he returned he has a Batman walkie-talkie shoved in his back pocket.

"If that's your baby monitor I don't want to see whatever you think a stroller is." Sif said raising an eyebrow. "Where the fuck did you get that anyway?"

"I stole them from Loki. He'll never know."

"He had Batman walkie-talkies?" Sif laughed "Your brother such a loser." Thor wiggled on to the sofa with her. "Why did you parents adopt him?"

"I have no idea." Thor shrugged "Maybe they thought that they weren't doing enough 'good deeds'." He air quoted the words. "I truly have no idea."

"And it's not like you're mom can't have kids." Sif said "She had you. And Balder, right?"

"Fuckin, Balder yeah." Thor laughed pushing his hair back, his arm snaking under Sif's shoulders. "God that kid is _so fucking weird_."

"Where does he even go to school, now?" Sif asked nestling into the crook of Thor's shoulder.

"Some stupid hippy boarding school, in the mountains." Thor answered burying his nose in Sif's hair, his hand snaking up her shirt to lay on the bare skin of her stomach. "They like go rock climbing for PE or something. And like clean rivers."

"What's stupid about that?" Sif asked. "Is it just 'stupid' 'cause Balder does it?"

"Yup."

_Worry 'bout the maiden though you know,_

_She'd only waiting, spent the whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience and a dumb appreciation,_

_But the story needs some mending and a better happy ending_

_Cause I don't want the next best-_

Sif fumbled around on the couch, pulling her phone out before it could ring again, her cheeks flushing. Thor's eyebrows went up as she slammed the phone to her ear, pushing his arm away.

"Hi Fandral..." She said pushing her hair out of her eyes. "No. I was just at Thor's. Yeah." There's a silence "I was doing my laundry. Just... What? Why are you calling me?" More silence. "We'll be right there. Don't go anywhere." She hung up the phone and stood up. "Put shoes on, we have to go."

Thor had a stupid cocky smile on his face when she looked back at him.

"What?"

"Fandral huh?" He asked with a knowing raise of his eyebrows.

"... Shut up." She said throwing his shoes at him. "I'm driving."

Thor pulled his sweatshirt on, the purple and gold school one "Well good, cause I have no idea where we're going." He could tell it was something urgent by the way Sif was running around trying to find her other shoe. He just couldn't help but tease her. "Your shoe's in the laundry room." He called gathering up his daughter and her ghetto car-seat he bought off one of his new neighbors.

"Tony's tied up in a tree." Sif said as she walked out into the living room one combat boot untied. "We have to get him down." She wrenched open the door, and jumped back, away from the woman standing in the way, her hand raised as if she was going to knock. The woman was fairly tall, with untamed red hair. She was dressed in cargo pants and a loose fitting cotton top, the color of moss. Sif thought there was something incredibly familiar looking about her.

"Uh..." Sif looked at Thor.

"Can I help you?" Thor asked. "We're kind of in a hurry, so if you're selling something, we don't want it." He pushed Sif out the door and turned to lock it. "Also, I have my rent. It's just in my car... which is at the shop. So." He nudged Sif toward the stairs. "If you don't mind..." Thor nodded toward the stairs and Sif got the message, the pair booking it down stairs and to Sif's waiting Volvo XC 90.


	9. She Will Always Be The Only Thing

**Chapter 9: She Will Always Be The Only Thing That Comes Between Me and The Awful Sting Of Living In A World That's So Damn Mean. **

Monday morning the most discussed subject around Riverdale High School was the fact that Anthony Edward Stark has been hogtied in a tree for three hours while most of his friends stood under him and watched until it started to rain and Natasha took pity on the poor boy in the tree and called 911. It was rumored that Bruce Banner had voted they leave the boy in the tree. But that was just a rumor. An unconfirmed rumor.

The fact of the matter was that Bruce had stopped eating lunch in the science building with Tony that next week though, and started eating with Natasha under the weeping willow in the library courtyard. No one in the school found this odd. Not even Natasha's old friends.

The day was unnaturally sunny, one of the nicest they'd had since school started, and all the teenagers in attendance were out soaking up as much sun as they're skin could handle before the clouds realized they were slacking on their job.

From their seat under the willow, Natasha and Bruce could observe their friends, Clint and Steven talking over lunch, casually. Thor had his head bent over his homework, copying no doubt from Hogun. Peter Parker was nearby, his fingers flying quickly over the keyboard to his phone. Natasha has heard that he and Jane Foster had exchanged numbers at some point recently. Tony was nowhere in sight, while Pepper flirted shamelessly with Fandral, toting Stark's things, while Sif shot eye-daggers into her back. Sometimes Natasha wondered if Pepper knew she was flirting. If she could even help it.

"Bruce," Natasha said with a smirk, pointing over to where the Big Damn Heroes were sitting, Sif progressively getting more physical with her staring. "I think Sif might strangle Pepper." Bruce smiled at the too, before looking down, back at his tray of 'food'.

"Natasha?" Bruce asked almost silently, Natasha answered with a noise from the back of her throat, "I have to tell you something."

"What's up?" Natasha replied looking up at him, she was stretched out on the grass, propped up on her elbows. She shaded her eyes from the glare of the sun. Vaguely she remembered Thor giving a presentation in Fury's recently about the Norse myths about the sun and the moon, but she can figure out if that was a dream or a memory.

Bruce looked uncomfortable, shifting around, setting his tray down, and clearing his throat too many times. "I just. I wanna get something off my chest."

"Lay it on me."

"I love you." Bruce's cheeks turned red, the color of Natasha's hair. "I mean- I like you. Alot. Like more than a friend. Like more than-" But Bruce's confession was cut short, Natasha stopping him, swallowing his words with soft, and very chaste, kiss. 'But sadly it seemed not to be Bruce's day, because the kiss too was cut short when Pepper shrieked.

Natasha stood, quick to her feet, shouting to Bruce that they would continue this later before booking it across the courtyard to where Pepper Potts had been standing.

Sif had jumped the other girl, her fist landing dead center in Pepper's face, before anyone could react, before Thor managed to pull Sif away from the much smaller, much more fragile girl, before she could do any real damage.

Pepper was holding her nose when Natasha arrived at her side, her hands flying to where the blood was as Sif kicked and scratched at Thor's massive arms.

"Dirty fucking whore!" Sif shouted, the teachers were running to them. "Stick that twisted tongue back in your filthy mouth, wrench!"

"Sif! Stop!" Thor shouted, trying to get a grip on her writhing body. Natasha had never seen the other girl so mad. So primal. She suddenly wondered why people thought she was scary.

Pepper was gasping for breath, trying to stem the flow of blood. "Natasha!" She exclaimed "She _broke _my _nose_!" They were taken away then, Thor dragging Sif toward the principal's, Pepper and Natasha heading toward the nurse, all of them escorted by teachers, and a few tazzer wielding security rent-a-cops.

Natasha and Pepper sat in the nurse's, Pepper holding a bag of ice over her face, Natasha sitting by, comforting her much smaller friend on the issues of what had just conspired. She told Pepper it wasn't her fault, that Sif had over reacted, and part of Natasha tried to think that was true, but the girl had grown up in the SCA, were her dad taught her how to settle arguments with a steel blade at the age of five. That might not have been 'over reacting' for Sif, in fact Pepper was probably lucky all she got was a bloody nose.

"I mean, it wasn't even like, I wasn't doing anything!" Pepper said, with extravagant hand gestures. Natasha knew she should have been listening to Pepper rant, but all she could do was smile like a giddy school girl and remember what had happened before the cat fight. More like cat 'assault' really...

"Pepper." Natasha said finally, turning to her friend and lowering her voice "I have to tell you something." Pepper gave her a look and Natasha started. "Bruce told me something today. He told me he_ likes_ me."

"So..." Pepper asked with a shrug,

"So," Natasha smiled with a shiver "I've had the world's biggest crush on Bruce since like... 7th grade!" She let herself have a girly girl moment, but it was just a moment before there was a knock on the door and they looked up to see Thor standing in the doorway.

"I'm suppose to tell you that we can go back to class." Thor pointed to Natasha. Natasha nodded and patted Pepper once on the shoulder before she started back to class with Thor. They were late for World _Policies_.

The pair walked in silence, Thor's fingers hooked through the straps of his bag, head down. Natasha swung one of her arms and looked around the hallway.

"Sooo." She said finally "You need a ride to school tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Thor responded scratching his head and Natasha noticed with a twist in her stomach that Thor had gauges. Ones that you could see though. It made her sick. "Sorry."

Natasha shrugged "Don't worry about it. I like people in my car. I don't get bored that way."

Thor smiled and Natasha understood why all the girls liked him. Even with his long hair. "So. I kinda over heard your conversation with Pepper." He smirked a little then, and Natasha's cheeks turned pink. "So, Banner huh?" He asked holding the door open for her.

She looked down, tucking hair behind her ear. "Yeah. Bruce."

"Good." Thor smiled "He needs someone to like him. It always looks like his eyelids hold the weight of the world." Thor did some kind of impression of this and he just looked stoned, his eyes half open.

Natasha laughed "You wanna ditch the rest of the day? We can like, I dunno go shopping or something."

"You say that like I have money." but he nodded anyway the pair heading off toward the parking lot, toward adventures at the mall.

* * *

"I'm throwing this little get together, a shindig, Friday night and was wondering if you lovely ladies would like to attend," Tony winked at the end, a dashing smile closing the deal. As if those girl were going to say no anyway. He was just about to tell them how delighted he was when he spotted Bruce sitting alone not far away. Tony didn't even wave goodbye to the ladies, he just turn and ran over, leaving the girls to their gossip.

"Bruce," He said when he slid into the seat across from his friend. "What's up?" Bruce looked up as if startled, as if he'd been thinking about something else.

"Oh, hey." He said before going back to his book. There was the lightest of breezes, turning the corner of one of the pages up.

Tony's brow furrowed, and he leaned forward a little. "Something, is bothering you my friend. And it just so happens that Dr Stark is in the house today. And ready to hear every one of your problems. So... Y'know, 3, 2, 1, go. I've got a time constraint" Bruce couldn't help but smile, pushing dark hair out of his face as the wind fluttered the pages of his book.

"It's not a big deal." Bruce said "I just, y'know. Natasha kissed me."

Tony raised his eyebrows and smiled "Dude, no way!"

Bruce smiled, at least Tony seemed genuinely happy for him. "Yeah. Right before Sif punched Pepper in the face."

"You've liked her forever right?" Tony asked, and Bruce realized that maybe his affections hadn't been so secret after all. Or maybe Tony was just good at making conversation.

"Yeah. Since like. 6th grade."

"6th grade seems to be the grade where magic happens." But Bruce never got to ask what exactly Tony meant by that, because checked his watch and sucked in a breath "Shit. I gotta run, like I said I'm on a time constraint." And he whisked off, walking fast, his messenger bag bouncing against his thigh. Bruce wondered where he was off too.


	10. You've Been Acting Awful Tough Lately

**Chapter 10: You've Been Acting Awful Tough Lately, Smoking a Lot of Cigarettes Lately.**

It was the week of first quarter testing, one of the many stressful weeks for all juniors at Riverdale high school. The test was designed to test what students had learned as of the first four weeks, it was meant to keep more 'at risk' kids in school, meant to get them proper help. And if you didn't pass the thing, you were in danger of failing the semester. It didn't help that the results of the test were broadcasted, letting the student body know exactly who was the stupidest in 11th grade. And for one hoping to get into medical school, who had missed many lessons because of his current living situation, this test was much more stressful then it needed to be.

The night before the start of the test, Natasha Romanoff was doing some last minute studying before slipping into a nice bubble bath for some well deserved and needed relaxation time. She had just relaxing into said bath when her phone began to buzz it's way across the sink where she had left it. Natasha, instead of rising from the bath, glared at the phone until the call stopped, sinking back into the bath once it had. A moment or two pasted before the damned thing began to vibrate it's way across the counter again.

With a grumble she reached over to answer it. "Hello?" She mumbled.

"Natasha!" was the answer, a very distressed man on the other end.

"What do you want, Thor?" Natasha asked, knowing exactly which distressed man was going to call her from an unrecognized number.

"Natasha, I can't! I can't do it!" Thor replied with what sounded like a dry sob "I'm going to fail the mid semester tests. And then I won't graduate and I won't get into medical school and, and India will _starve _all because of me!" there was another dry sob at the end but Natasha couldn't tell if they were sobs, or static from the phone.

Natasha took a deep breath, "Thor. You'll be fine. You weren't getting into medical school anyway. What's this all about?"

"I could have!" He replied "I could have if I busted my ass next year. But I'm going to fail because all I am is a fucking failure who can't even get a _job_."

"Thor. Come on. Did you even want to be a doctor?"

"Well. Actually. Yeah. It was dream job in second grade."

"Second grade? I wanted to be a fucking princess in second grade."

There was a sniffle and a deep half chuckle "Really? You? A princess?"

"Yep. I had my grandparents call me Anastasia for a month once. Me the Russian princess. Fortunately the 7 year old Nat didn't know about her family being assassinated." Natasha sighed and smiled at the memory. "Now that you're calmed down, what do you need?"

Thor sighed and there was a shuffling sound as the phone moved against his stubble "I dunno. A cigarette, some to share a bed with, and all the answers to the mid-quarter test?"

"I can help with the cigarette. Call Sif. Nobody has those. Wanna come over?" Natasha slightly regretted the invitation. An unhappy Thor was never a fun one, but maybe she could take his mind off things. "Bring India. We can play Left 4 Dead."

Thor accepted the invitation before hanging up. Natasha sighed before climbing out of the bath and shuffled into her room to pull some pajamas on before Thor showed up and could tease her about being nude. Not that he seemed in the teasing didn't take Thor long to show up, Natasha actually suspected he'd called her from the gas station down the street, a theory only strengthened by the fact that India was chewing on a plastic race car she knew they sold.

"Hey" Thor said, his voice horse when she answered the door.

"Hey" Natasha smiled at the man who towered over her. She Wrapped her arms around Thor's waist and squeezed. India attached herself to Natasha's hair in the Process. "Oh. Ow. Come on it."

"Thanks." Thor said following Natasha into the house. "Are your grandparents cool with this?" He asked as India reached up and pulled on his hair.

"Yeah. They don't mind." Natasha said leading him into the kitchen, where Natasha's grandparents were sitting at the kitchen table. They greeted him with warm smiles while Natasha finished her turn on the constant Scrabble game going.

"Help yourself to whatever you can find in the kitchen." Natasha's grandfather told Thor.

"Oh, that's okay." Thor replied "I already ate."

Natasha gave him a look "What'd you eat? Convenient store donuts?" Thor didn't meet her eyes. She rolled her's and looked back at the board, calculating the scores in her head before asking is her crib was still in the guest room. Her grandmother confirmed that her crib was in still in the guest-room, and with their blessing, Natasha took the chattering baby from Thor.

"Good night!" She rushed up the stairs with the baby chewing on the collar of Clint's shirt that Natasha was wearing over her tank top and the plaid boxer shorts. Thor walked up the stairs not nearly as gracefully as Natasha, ever since he'd hit the growth spurt in like four grade, he'd felt like a lumbering giant, awkward and clumsy.

"Why are they so nice?" Thor asked shoving his hands into his pockets. "Why?"

Natasha heard but ignored him, instead she turned and handed him the baby saying "Hey. You. Go up to my room. I'm gonna get the crib." Thor watched her red hair whip around the corner of the hallway. Thor sighed and continued up the stairs.

"I know what you're thinking." Thor told his daughter. "I should have offered to help with the crib. but she would have refused it anyway."

Thor watched Natasha set up the crib in the corner of her room, standing awkwardly in the middle of it, trying to to stare at one thing for too long. He put his daughter to sleep after that, which was apparently quite surprising for Natasha to watch, before he went back to standing in the middle of the room again.

"So..." Thor muttered rubbing his palms on his jeans. "Are these your chambers?" he asked looking around the room.

"You've been in here before." She said slumping down onto the bed. "And_ they're _not 'chambers',_ it's _my 'room'. Why do you talk like that?"

Thor shrugged and sat on the very very edge of her bed, "I haven't actually. Been in here. I just do, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." She told him watching him as he rubbed his face and tried not to look at her open underwear drawer. "Thor. Have your ever actually been in a girl's room before?"

He tried to shrug nonchalantly but it was lost in the awkward way he was holding his shoulders. "Yeah. Like Sif's. She's got bunk beds. Did you know that? And like. I've been in... In uh..." He swallowed and cleared his throat. "I've been in her India's mother's room." He pointed to the crib across the room. "That's. That's where it happened." He rubbed his face again, sliding onto the floor, leaning against the bed. "I wasn't completely honest when I told you guys what happened. I tried to play it off like it didn't matter. Like I didn't care that I... That I fucked her." He took a haunted breath and Natasha moved silently from the bed to sit next to him. "I cared... I cared..." He tried to take a deep breath again, and it turned into a harsh sound in his throat.

"You loved that one didn't you?" Natasha said, taking a wild stab and was rewarded with Thor nodding, his large hands covering his face, hiding the tears that had started to fall.

"I love her so much." He said horsely. "And. I feel like I've ruined everything. My life. India's life." He shook his head and tried to breath again. "It's like I can't breath. It hurts so much, Natasha."

Natasha frowned and pulled Thor into a half hug, trying to embrace his wide shoulders. "Thor. It's okay. You'll be okay. I promise."

* * *

"Hey." Thor cornered her on the way to the science building after lunch "Tasha."

She turned with a wave of fire-hair and noticed happily that Thor was much more put together, his t-shirt was clean-looking and stainless, the circles under his eyes gone, or at least faded.

"Hey," She said slowing her gait to let him catch up with her in two bonds of his long legs.

"What's up?"

"I need a favor." Thor said tucking a wadded up piece of paper into his pocket. "Can you baby sit for me?"

"Sure, when?" Natasha asked with a smirk. Clint hadn't been terribly happy that India has drooled all over his shirt the other night. She was also fairly sure he wasn't terribly happy that Thor had slept over.

"Tonight." He said holding the door for her as they entered the building. "Is that cool?"

"Yeah sure." Natasha replied "Can I ask why?"

Thor glanced back at her. "Oh yeah, there's a party I want to go to." Natasha gave him a look, a glare and the turn down of her lips.

"Thor..."

"No. No it's nothing like that!"Thor insisted a lock of his hair falling down into his face. "It's not."

"Really?" Natasha was skeptical. "What party is it?"

Thor cleared his throat and fidgeted "It's the physics department party." Natasha smiled knowingly "What? I heard they're fun."

"Right sure."

"You know what, I don't even have class in here now." Thor said turning "So you'll baby sit? Cool. See you."

* * *

Thor couldn't keep himself still in 7th period, the time ticking by too slow, and yet too fast. The prospect of going to the physics party was frightening and exhilarating at the same time. It made his heart pound, beating out of his chest, jumping at the base of his throat. He'd heard that _she_ was going with Peter Parker, the dork from journalism, the pair making the perfect couple. Both of them were small, both of them were smart, both of them were creative. And Thor was just a big, dumb, jock. who was he kidding, the only thing he had in common with _her _was the baby he still had to pick up from day care.

Really, Thor had no right to love _her _at all, he'd never been the world's best boyfriend, and he'd never done anything to win her love, never bought her jewelry or flowered, never took her to dinner, never respected her the way she'd deserved. But he couldn't **not **love her. He'd tried. He'd tried to hate her, and he;d done an okay job at it, but it had made him sick, made his heart hurt. Although, compared to this pain he might have preferred hate after all.

'The Physics Department' was a vast number of people because it included every physics all of Riverdale High and it's lottery sister school. Which was where _she _was currently going. That meant that a physics department party included all 46 students. It was a vast number for a physics department. And thor never would have thought of going except that he had explicit proof that _she _would be there. From Peter Parker himself.

The exact words had been 'Yeah, we're going to the physics party on Friday. I'm hoping there's booze. Like special science-y booze. Maybe _she'll _let me titty fuck her again.'

Thor had almost thrown a desk and told peter not to talk about _her _like that. That _she _deserved better. He hadn't even talked about _her _like that. _He _hadn't even treated _her _that bad.

Thor found _her _in the kitchen of the house the party was being thrown in, with a drink in her hand, talking to Bruce Banner and Henry Pym about something to do with Ursa Minor and whether or not Tony Stark was going to show up. Thor didn't see Peter Parker anywhere around, but he spotted Janet van Dyne talking to one of the other girls, with hurried hand motions and teary eyes. He didn't wonder what had happened. He didn't care. Thor watched her for a few moments, from the doorway, watched the way she moved, the way she smiled and the way her brow furrowed when one of the boys said something confusing. It made him hurt even more. As he moved forward Peter Parker come out of the group of students and put an arm around the older girl, and _she _smiled and Thor had to turn away. He started back toward the door, the way he'd come, his eyes hurting, until he felt a tiny hand on his arm. He turned to see _her _standing there, her eyebrows high.

"Thor?"

"Oh. Jane." He said rubbing his eyes. "Hey."

"Uh. What are you... _Doing_ here?" She asked.

"I uh... I wanted to talk..." He said quietly before Peter Parker came up to them, smiling. He might have been drinking.

"Thor! Thor Blake! Y'know, that kid Donald? You guys have the same last name," He said.

"I know," Thor told him. "We were on the football team together. Listen, Jane, I really need to talk to you." He looked down at _her_ again.

"Come on!" Peter said dragging him toward the kitchen where Pepper Potts and Bruce Banner were snogging. "Have a drink man!" He thrust a beer into Thor's hand. Thor smiled tightly and set it down, far away from him.

"I don't drink anymore." He said. "Jane, really. I need to... talk." He hesitated, suddenly feeling too large for the kitchen, like he would knock over the hanging pots, or the knife rack. Both of which he'd done in Odin's house before, earning him the wrath of Frigga. Thor became dimly aware of Peter Parker talking again, and of his arm around _her. _Thor interrupted him, in the middle of a story about going to New Orleans over break and all the totally great pictures he took.

"Listen. That's totally rad and I'm so fucking happy for you," Thor said. "But I really need to talk to Jane. So. Can we?"

_She_ hesitated, her hands twisting and fretting. "I just. I mean. I... You could have called."

"I couldn't have called. You wouldn't have answered. I don't have a phone anyway." Thor told her, and reached out like he was going to touch _her_, but stopped himself. "I just, I really need to talk to you." He dropped him voice down low.

"Listen man," Peter said grabbing Thor's arm. "If she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't have to! Like, man leave the poor girl alone." Bruce and Pepper had left by now, and Thor looked down at the small journalist grabbing his arm.

"Parker. If you don't let go of my jacket. I'll break your hand. Okay?" Thor warned him.

Peter Parker rolled his eyes and continued. "She's with me now, bub. And you'd do well to remember_ she_ dumped _you_." Thor moved faster then Peter could, grabbing the sophomore's hand and slamming it down on the counter before bringing his other hand down on the back of Peter's head and slamming his nose into the linoleum counter.

"Oh. Shit." Henry Pym exclaimed as Peter Parker fell backwards with a blood nose, stunned and squinty.

"Don't worry. I just broke his nose. Nothing serious." Thor told him before turning back to _her_. "Listen, please I really need to talk to you outside, please?" _She_ looked from Thor to her new boyfriend rolling around on the ground, clutching his nose.

"I... Uh... I guess so..." _She _muttered picking up her bag from the table and heading toward the door, Thor following her.

It was warm outside, humid and sweaty, but Thor felt cold in the night time as they walked out into the lawn, before they stopped a far bit away from the house.

"You know, what you did to Peter. That wasn't very nice." _She_ muttered

"What did you want me to do?" Thor asked.

"You could have been nice."_ She_ told him and Thor sighed.

"How could I stand and laugh with the man who redefined your body?" He asked _her _suddenly, and _she_ looked taken aback, as if _she _couldn't answer. "Yeah. That's right. I heard about you titty fucking him. The whole school did actually. I'm surprised you didn't noticed the looks they've been giving you." Thor snapped. _Her _face tightened.

"You don't know anything about looks." _She _said "If you just wanted to verbally abuse me again, you could have just said so." _She _turned to go back into the house and Thor caught her arm.

"Wait. I'm sorry." He looked down "I just... I... I think about you at every moment of the day." Thor started, rubbing his forehead. "I can't go though life without seeing something that reminds me of you, and it makes my heart _sick _and my knees weak and I can't breath, and it _hurts _me to see you with Peter or with Don and I know you deserve them and not me but I can't watch you around the,. I know I wasn't the world's best boyfriend. I didn't buy you things, I didn't kiss you in front of people, I didn't show my affections right, I knocked you up even, the last time I saw you I told you things I didn't mean and I called you a whore and I don't deserve to even _think_ about you anymore, because you're beautiful and you're smart and you're _going_ somewhere in life, and I'm... not. Any of those things." He took a shuttering breath and _she _can see tears in his big, blue, honest eyes, clinging to his too long lashes. "And I feel like I'm fading because I'm not with you and I'm scared I'm just going to fade away one day and leave India all alone. And it makes my heart stop. Because I..." He wiped his tears away and grabbed _her _arms trying to make understand "Because I love you, Jane Foster." His face was streaked with tears that shone in the moonlight, like rivers of silver. "Jane, please." He said reaching up to touch her face and she could see his heart break in his eyes, when she pulls away slightly. "I don't care if you love me back or not. But please, tell me... say something. Slap me, tell me off, just let me know that this _means something _to you!"

She was tiny in his hand, tiny and startled and beautiful. She put her tiny hands on his wrists, his thumb moved over her cheek, wiping away the single tear that's fallen. She looked down, before she met his eyes again, lunging forward to push her lips against his. his face was wet and she made him bend down to kiss her, because he has to. Jane tangled his hair in her hands and they kissed open eyed and hungry, like they were drowning. His hands cupped her faced in his hands, the metal of his ring cold on her cheek. When she pulled away, she leaned her head against Thor's, their breath mingling.

"It's okay." She said wiping his cheeks. "I love you too." Thor breathed a laugh thats of relief, his eyes closing briefly before he kissed her forehead and pulled her into a tight embrace, burring his face into her clean smelling hair. He almost started to cry again.

"Thor?" Jane's voice was muffled against his chest. "Can you let me go? I can't breath."

"Oh, shit, yeah sorry." He said relenting and putting his hands into his back pockets. "Sorry."

Jane smiled as she looked up at him. "It's okay." She reached out and took one of his hands, leaning her head onto his chest. "I love you." She said, almost a whisper.

"Thank you." He replied.

* * *

He didn't know how it happened but he had vague memories of driving home in Jane's car, the clutch squeaking every time she shifted, he remembered giving her direction, he remember chatting, little small talk about the apartment, about the fact that the whole apartment could fit into Natasha's bedroom. Jane asked where India was and she seemed comfortable about Natasha baby-sitting her. The night was a blur, and the memories Thor did have after Jane said _I love you _were hazy like the fast forward on a movie. He remembered kissing one last time before they crawled into his bed, on top of the blankets still fully dressed, the afghan from the sofa draped over them, Jane's hand buried in his chest, her fingers gripped in his shirt the other resting over his stomach, under the soft warn cloth of his t-shirt. his arms wrapped around her, holding her tight to him, afraid that she would disappear if he let her go.

That's how they slept all night long the window cracked letting icy air into the room, Jane's toes pushing at the cuffs of Thor's jeans, his breath stirring her hair. They would wake up every once in awhile in the night, Thor to take off his belt and Jane to take off her bra, getting more comfortable before rolling back over and returning to their earlier positions.

* * *

Jane woke up that next morning, the window still open, the afghan pull up to her chin. She had begun to think that the window was broken. It wouldn't have surprised her. She looked around, pushing her hair back, observing the room for the first time. There was crib in the corner, a homemade mobile above it, a couple of Thor's old toys and a shirt rumpled in the bottom. Jane picked up the shirt and saw that it was one of her's, one she'd left when she'd broke up with him. Jane smiled to herself standing and rubbing her face, grabbing a sweatshirt that was sitting hear the lamp on the floor. The sweatshirt was red and it was thick and it smelled like Thor when Jane pushed it to her face. Like rain and sweat and something familiar like the static before a storm. She felt her eyes burn with tears and she rubbed them away, pulling the sweatshirt on before leaving the room. She didn't need the sweatshirt, it wasn't that cold, but it made her feel better.

The carpet was itchy against her barefeet and she wondered through the house, walking into the kitchen following the sound of dishes against the counter. Thor was standing in the tiny kitchen, busily scrambling eggs, the one person kitchen made him look bigger then he was. Or maybe Jane had forgotten how tall he actually was.

"You're making breakfast? She asked leaning against the door frame, pushing her sleeves up.

Thor smiled. "Trying." He corrected reaching out to hold her hand, pulling her toward him. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I couldn't have slept better." She answered leaning her head against his arm. They stood for a few moment in silence, neither of them saying the things that needed to be said. When Thor started to plate the eggs on mismatched plates, Jane hugged herself and looked around the apartment. She'd done this to him, she realized, this was her fault.

"Jane?" Thor asked standing in front of her, holding the plates. "Are you alright?"

"God." She said "I am so sorry." Her eyes were downcast, her tiny shoulders shook like a leaf. She felt Thor's strong calloused hand over her cheek, pushing her face up to look at him. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the mismatched plates sitting on the counter.

"Hey." Thor whispered "Let's stop being sorry, okay? Let's just start over." Jane nodded, smiling as he lead her out of the kitchen and back into the bedroom, where the pair ate their breakfast on Thor's floor bed. the window still open.

"Thanks for cooking breakfast." Jane said when they were done, dishes deposited on the carpet. "I never knew you were so domestic."

Thor cocked an eyebrow. "What's that suppose to me?" he asked, the ghost of a smirk on his face.

Jane shrugged "Nothing... Just that's you're a woman." She giggled as Thor pushed her backwards against the bed, his massive body almost crushing her. She could feel his heart beat through his chest.

"Oh, really?" He asked smiled and nipping at her jaw. "Is that right?"

Jane giggled one of her hands cupped his neck, the other trapped above her head by his hand. "Yup. Especially with that nice hourglass figure and everything."

Thor laughed and tossed his hair back "Oh thank you, I work pretty damn hard to keep it up."

"Oh, I can tell." Jane giggled pulling his face closer to her's, his tongue darting out suddenly, licking her cheek. "Oh jesus!" Jane shrieked "That's gross, Thor!" Thor laughed and bit at her neck pulling more giggled from her as she squirmed under hi, the buzzing of her phone barely loud enough to alert them of the incoming call.

"Thor stooop, please, it's my phone." Jane shrieked pushing on him.

"Do not fret." Thor said reaching over and grabbing the phone from the floor. "I'll answer it." He flipped the phone open with a lavish flourish and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"

_Who is this? Thor? What have you done with my daughter?_

"Oh... Hi, Mr Foster..." Thor said sitting up on the bed, Jane's eyes going really big. "She's here with me."

_She's with you? You little shit, I swear to God if you touched her, in anyway-_

"Listen, Mr Foster, I didn't touch your daughter. Well I mean, I kissed her a couple times, but that's it." Thor insisted, glancing briefly behind him to watch Jane put her head in her hands. "And like I have no idea what going on with you and her, but she's a big girl okay? You can't control who she's in love with."

_In love? In love? She's not in love with you. She doesn't know what love is._

"Mr Foster? I'm going to hang up now, and Jane's going to come home and you're going to be nice to her, okay? And just a heads up, Jane and I have a child, so that probably means I'll be coming around again, alright? Alright. Ba-bye now." And Thor hung up the phone dropping it as he scootched to Jane's side, touching her shoulder lightly. "You okay?"

Jane shrugged and leaned into her chest. "Not really, no. He forbid me to see you, did you know that? To talk to you after I told him, about, y'know. That was was carrying your child. It's why I didn't answer any of your calls. My mama looks down and spits on the ground every time my name gets mentioned and my dad's just like 'If I ever get that boy...'. They blamed you for everything."

"Well. It is kinda my fault." Thor told her.

"Except that it takes two to have hardcore sex," Jane responded "I should go home, face his wrath now, rather then tonight." She stood and gathered up her things. "Need me to drop you at Natasha's?"

Thor nodded. "Yeah thanks." He said as they made their way to the stairs. "Is what you said true?"

"What?" Jane asked.

"Was the sex really that..."

"Thor. It was the best sex I've ever had."

"I love you."

"I know."


	11. Do It for the Teenagers

A/N: Okay. Sorry I'm a total dickhead and haven't been posting. School is hard man. BUT I'M OUT NOW! So. Don't expect more updates.

**Chapter ****11: Do It for the Teenagers and Do It for Your Mom, Broken Hearts Hurt But They Make You Strong**

The day was just barely beginning when Steve parked his car at the school. 4:45 am. He was early. Better that then late, he figured. Steve found all the gates and door unlocked for him, leading him to room 216, the room he had Fury's class in, the room the caller had told him to show up to. He'd waited for Thor this morning, but finally had given up on the boy, figuring he'd probably forgotten. The room was as sparse as ever, all the desks pushed up to the walls, leaving only three in the front of the room. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner were already there. In the front of the room stood Director Fury, a strict looking woman, and Phil Coulson, Steve's biggest fanboy at school.

"Uh... So... I'm here..." Steve said looking around. "I got a call. Last week..."

"Yes." Fury nodded "Please, Mr Rogers, take a seat."

* * *

It was hot by now, the sun baking the blue paint of Natasha's car, heating the legs of her and Thor's jeans as they lounged across her car hood, drinking hot stale Dr Pepper she'd found in her trunk, looking up at the handy work on the billboard before them. They were parked on an expanse of hard-packed dirt, in between the back of the mall and the interstate, the billboard growing like an ugly tree from the dirt. Thor used to come here to sit on the billboard and think. When he was younger. When his father's face was plastered across it.

"I think your dad should get an eyepatch," Natasha said "He looks good with it,"

"He looks like a pirate." Thor noted squinting up at the sign. Natasha nodded "Maybe thats what I'll give him for father's day. A big middle finger and an eyepatch."

"You shouldn't be so mean." Natasha said "He's only doing what he thinks is right." Thor was trying to ignore her stare, looking everywhere but her eyes.

"I would have asked Sif to come vandalize stuff with me, if I knew that you were gonna be like this." He muttered

"Did he really kick you out because of India? Because it would 'hurt his press'?" Natasha asked. Thor had spent the whole day with Natasha, telling her about his dad and Jane and the party last night.

Thor nodded looking up at the billboard of his father "Dude, you have no idea what it's like to be the Mayor's son. It's like being on display _all the time_." He looked around as India begun to fuss inside the car.

"You know," Natasha said as Thor slid off the hood to attend to his child. "I think you're the most badass dad ever."

Thor laughed as India watched Natasha intently from his arms. "I hope she thinks that, y'know, when she's older."

"She will." Natasha said taking India from Thor, the child reaching up instantly to pull on her hair. Thor finished his soda and crushed the can between his hands like to was nothing before chucking it up at the billboard of his father. "Oh, hey I was at the Teen Health Center the other day, to check my vagina, and I got you these." She held out a pamphlets _Men, Babies and The Law: 15 Things You Should Know _and _Teen Parenthood._

"Oh, wow," Thor snorted "Thanks so much man, I really. REALLY need these now." He laughed taking the pamphlets from her and flipping though them reading the phrases "Babies are humans too" "If you have sex with a woman, she may become pregnant." "What are the postpartum blues?" "You must used birth control for it to be effective," and "Will you look at this diaper rash, mom?" out loud.

"What the hell at you two doing?" someone shouted startling the pair as the crumpled can bounced off Odin's face. They turned to see Steve Rogers standing behind them in a bright orange vest with a bag of trash and one of those long pointy sticks in his hands.

"The better question is what are you doing?" Thor snorted covering his mouth "Rogers, are you secretly a convict? Do we need to talk? Cause I've been in the slammer before and it ain't much fu-"

"Thor. You were arrested once for reckless driving. You had to stay in jail like. For a couple hours." Natasha scowled before turning to Steven. "But really, what the _hell_ are you wearing?"

"It's community service." Steven replied "Y'know. That thing that colleges like? Right Nat?"

"Fuck that." Thor muttered apparently bored now that he could no longer tease Steve.

"Yeah but at least I don't wonder around the highway in fucking rave clothing." She told him, before picking up the almost silently buzzing phone. "Natasha Romanoff... Oh hey, what's up Loki?"

"It disturbs me, the friendship Natasha has with my brothers." Thor told Steven.

"Well. You don't have to be everyone's favorite Blake." Steven replied.

"We'll be right there. See you in a bit. Kisses." Natasha hung up the phone, and looked at the two boys. "Get in. We're going to Odin's."

* * *

"Gaia?"

"Good day Odin. I have come to find our son. I have heard, somewhere along the grapevine, that _you_ cast him out."

"You cannot come back after all those years. He does not even know you."

"Yes. I know. Thank you for lying to him all these years. I am sure he will thank you for that one,"

"Odin?"

"Frigga! How wonderful to see you again. How's your son, Baldur? I heard he's building churches in India now."

"Gaia.. what... what are you doing here?"

"I came for my son. Seeing as his _family_ refuses to support him anymore."

"He moved out. You can find him at his new apartment."

"I went there. He ran away. And besides, I figured his_ father _should explain things to him."

* * *

Loki had slunk out of his window after making the call to Natasha, not wanting to be inside with his mother and father and the Other Woman. It was like they were hardly brothers anymore. And besides Baldur was home from Nepal, from helping citizens and climbing mountains. Loki wasn't really into looking at the pictures or hearing Baldur's stories about the woods and the kids he helped. It just wasn't Loki's thing. He also wasn't into thinking about Baldur and Natasha _fucking_ on the floor of Baldur's hut.

_"__Is Baldur here?" Loki heard Natasha ask from the doorway to the Blakes, in the background Loki could hear the loud beat of bad music in the background, coming from the kickass stereo system Odin had installed just recently. Apparently this part was to celebrate it._

_"__Why?" Thor responds._

_"__Are you not going to let me into your party? Me? Natasha Romanoff?" _

_"__Thor, come here. You need to see my new dance moves!" one of the cheerleaders calls. The bleach blonde one with the small tits. _

_"__He's in the kitchen. Teaching people how to make solar panels from beer cans." Thor tells her as she sidles past him, he himself disappears into the other room after the girl who was ever effectively shaking her ass. "Fuck_ _yeah, baby." He calls moving his hips to match her's._

_Loki watches as Natasha makes her way to the kitchen where she found Baldur, sitting on the marble counter, in a loose fitting purple shirt and worn light wash jeans, his halo of dark hair was held back with a bandana. He isn't drinking anything, but every once in awhile he takes a hit from a joint that was being pasted around._

_"__Hey." She calls out to him, and it took him a moment to figure out she was talking to him._

_"__Hey, Nat." He responds with a smile as she stood next to him at the counter, "What's up…." He trails off as she took the joint from him and took a drag._

_She shrugs "Dunno. Just didn't have anything to do on a Friday night. Thought I'd come over. And celebrate your big brother's win tonight." The football game had been legendary, it had gone into overtime, and Thor had been personally responsible for Riverdale's win, bringing them into the championship. _

_Baldur smiles like he was proud of his big brother "Yeah, it was pretty amazing y'know." Natasha cocks her head and smiles. _

_"__Wanna dance?"_

"Thor, get out of the fucking car." Natasha shouted, Loki hadn't even realized she'd showed up. Steven Rogers was with her, holding India, while Thor was curled up in the front seat, refusing to move.

"No, fuck you, I don't want to fucking see him." He spat as Natasha dragged him from the car, pulling him toward the house.

"It's important." She insisted. Loki had barley told her anything over the phone. _Odin needs to talk to Thor. It's family shit. Bring him over?_

Thor was protesting still when the door opened, loudly, about how he hated his father, and various other things, taking the fussing baby from Steven. Odin stood on the stoop, Frigga behind him, looking livid as she had since the Other Woman had showed up.

"Son." Odin's voiced carried across the lawn, stopping Thor in his resistant steps.

"Odin." Thor responded

"Come inside. Let's talk."

Inside Odin and Frigga and the Other Woman sat on one sofa, while Thor and Natasha and Loki and Baldur and Steven sat on the other sofa across the room. Frigga had offered them coffee, which Natasha had accepted while Thor refused to make eye contact with his mother when he refused, saying he was "not in the mood for charity." Steven had almost accepted until Thor glared him down. The Other Woman was drinking coffee too, her tangle of red hair tied back, and her mossy colored clothing dark against the white on white-gold interior of the Blake mansion. She watched Thor who watched his daughter and the coffee table very seriously.

"Thor." Odin demanded.

Thor glanced up, his mouth set in a hard line. "What."

"How old is India?" The Other Woman asked, cutting off whatever Odin was going to say. Thor seemed taken aback for a moment.

"She, uh, she's almost 8 months." He answered.

"She's beautiful." The Other Woman said and Thor smiled.

"Thanks." He said "It's all her mom, y'know. She looks just like her..." The woman smiled and moved from the grown ups sofa to the other one, sitting next to Thor. Thor recoilded a little, the way he did when drunk girls he didn't know started failing over him.

"Can I hold her?" The Other Woman asked and Thor looked briefly at Natasha and Steven who shrugged before Thor shrugged and handed his squirmy child over. India immediately quieted down as the Other Woman took her, starting up with big blue eyes, curious as to who the woman was.

"She likes you," Thor said. "Or at least, I think she does, I mean, she's not crying right? That's a plus." The Other Woman smiled and India reached forward, pulling on a chunk of red hair that had fallen from it's ponytail. The Other Woman grimaced. "Oh, yeah. She likes hair pulling..." Thor chuckled.

"So did you." The Other Woman smiled and Thor glanced around again.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his smile turned apprehensive.

"When you were a baby. You just loved to pull people's hair." The Other Woman nodded, her full attention on his child. Thor looked over to Natasha and back, rubbing one of his palms on his jeans.

"Did you know me when I was a baby?" He asked as Odin moved to stand.

"Perhaps we best leave this conversation?" He suggested and the Other Woman turned to glare daggers at him.

"Don't you dare leave this room Odin Blake, this conversation is as much about you as us. Your lovely wife, however, is not concerned and can leave if she wishes." The Other Woman nodded to Frigga, who sat back down stiffly and resumed glaring at the other woman. Natasha cleared her throat and smiled.

"It does however seem a family matter... We're just going to step outside, right Steven?" Natasha nodded standing.

"We... are?" Steven asked and Natasha's eyes grew round as she nodded. "Yeah. Right. Okay. We'll go wait outside. Good idea."

"You guys wanna see the photos from Nepal?" Baldur asked jumping up, the beads around his neck jangling. Natasha told him, they would _love_ to see the photos from Nepal, and the trio made their way toward Baldur's yurt.

"I should go walk Cerberus." Loki announced, but Thor caught the pocket of his jacket.

"Will you stay?" He asked, eyes big and blue and pleading. Loki sighed and sat back down, letting a smile escape his lips at Thor's relief. It felt good to be wanted.

"Odin, dearest, is there something you would like to tell your son?" The Other Woman asked and Odin cleared his throat, Thor's eyes moving to meet his father's.

"Son, uh... I just want to let you know that I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, and it was irresponsible of me." Odin nodded and looked back at the Other Woman. "This is Gaia. Gaia and I went to college together. She's a botanist, back from..."

"Asia." The Other Woman- Gaia -said with a smile at Thor "Research."

"Yes. She's been in Asia for the last 16 years." Odin nodded and cleared his throat again. "And has returned quiet unexpectedly."

"That's great." Thor sneered. "But what does that have to do with anything ever, and how did she know me as a baby?"

"You are just the way I imagined, growing up with this old fool." Gaia said. "Frigga always was the best in class when it came to manners. Not really as presumptuous as I expected, but I guess unexpected pregnancies and ignorant parents helped." She glared again at Odin. Thor rubbed his forehead.

"Yeah okay, but, who the fuck are you?" He asked finally, throwing his hands out, the motion sending ripples through the vase on the table. Gaia smiled again, dark eyes warm and kind.

"Thor, I'm your mother. Your real mother."


End file.
